Batter Up!

On Saturday, Hugger had a district Special Olympic softball tournament. It was in north KC, so we loaded the family and went down on Friday evening. We visited with George and Liz a while, then spent the night with Ben and Julie. The next morning - we all got together again at the first game. It was a fun time of visiting with family as we watched Hugger and his team play ball. We hadn't been free to spend much time with granddaughter H. in recent weeks, so we especially enjoyed her. The day was hot, but we sat in the shade of the concession building, and had a good time just hanging out together. A couple of lawn chairs, some stacked milk crates for additional seating, nachos, cold drinks, and family makes a great day. After the games, we spent the afternoon with Ben and Julie, playing with Hannah, and just resting in the air conditioning. It was a wonderful, relaxing day -- the kind that don't seem to come around very often because of busy schedules -- so even more of a treasure.

Hugger - #21 (still hugging)

The Roadrunners finished the day with a bronze medal (Way To Go, Team!). They are hoping to be chosen as one of the teams to compete in the state tournament coming up in August.

Hugger has been in Special Olympics for several years, with basketball being his favorite sport, and softball coming in second. He also has bowled, played soccer, done gymnastics and other sports at different times. The Special Olympic program here has grown over the years, and is a great opportunity. In the early years, most of us as parents try to keep our kids included in regular activities and education as much as possible. This gives our kids role models and typical peer interaction. As time goes on, though, it's obvious that the gap is growing wider between our kids' and others' abilities, and we begin to make changes, sometimes without even realizing it. There comes a time that we know our kids need to be in a different classroom, or on a different team, in order to achieve success -- whether it be academically, physically, or emotionally. In the end, we see that his true friends are others with disabilities also, and really, isn't that true of all of us? Our best friends are those who are very much like ourselves in many ways.

Thanks to Ben for the photos!

Where is Happy?

I haven't mentioned Happy in quite a while. Happy is a two year old foster child who was with us for over year, and left our home earlier this summer. One of the hardest things for us as foster parents is deciding if something isn't working for the child, or for our family, and deciding what to do about it. We often go back and forth between Father and I, with one deciding we should make a change, and the other not being sure. Then we trade places for a while, taking the opposite viewpoint. Over time we change, the children change, and sometimes we work through the difficulties. With Happy it was an even more complicated decision. She was with us for a long time, and we do love her. She was a very sweet girl, but it seemed that she never became 'one of us.' Sometimes foster kiddos just feel like they belong with us, and we live and work together as a family for however long they're here. With others, it isn't quite that easy.

Happy had many developmental needs, and we've had experience with that, so it seemed like we would be a good fit for her. We wanted to do it, and especially I wanted to do it, and do it well. I really enjoyed the investigation part of trying to find a cause for her disabilites, as well as providing the therapies and other daily things we could do for her. I was hopeful we could unlock the secret that was "her," and in doing so, help her grow and develop over time. However, for some reason, the emotional attachment that we usually find just didn't develop as we expected. When it began to look like her placement with us would become a long term proposition, we needed to stop and consider what was best for each of us individually, and the family as a whole. At these times we do a lot of self-examination and individual and family discussions, as well as consulting with those at the agency who know us well, and work with our children. For us, one of the most difficult parts of fostering is deciding to ask for a child to be moved to another home. We learn (and teach!) in foster parent training about the emotional needs of children, and how each time they are moved, it causes some level of trauma for them. We've seen countless children who believe themselves unworthy of love and commitment from parents. Over time, this can become a self-fulfilling prophecy for these children, and we don't want to be one of the causes of long-term damage. So . . . hours, days, and nights are spent trying to figure out what is truly best. It's impossible to make weighted pros and cons lists, but that is what happens mentally and emotionally. If this . . . then this. Or this, . . . then that. But . . . And what about the other idea? And if not us, then who? Or where? Eventually, we decided to ask for the agency to look for another foster home for her. Sometimes it takes a while to try on a decision to be sure it's right, looking for evidence one way or the other. We now think the evidence is there, and we pray that Happy will be truly happy with her new foster family, and will soon have a forever family who will love her and cherish her for all her very special qualities. We miss you, Happy, and pray for you.

Amazing Animals

Some animals in God's creation are unique, others interesting, and some amazing. Check out this story and photos about a pink dolphin. It's actually an albino bottlenose dolphin, but looks very pink.

On the amazing end of the spectrum is the three-banded armadillo. Last week I caught a glimpse of this on a television show, and was amazed at how it curls up into a ball with a special place for the top of the head and the tail to become part of the protection. I found a good photo here. (Look down the page for three-banded armadillo.)

God's providence is often amazing and thrilling to me, and this armadillo is a great example. As a miracle of God . . . incredible!! Not just tucked inside like a turtle - not just rolled up into a ball, but with a special place for the head and tail to become part of the protection! Little things make me incredibly excited sometimes.

Teenager's Dinner Gift

My desire to blog is greater than my time allotted for blogging, so I have things in the back of my mind I wanted to share, and haven't done so yet. One is from earlier this spring. Teenager made Father and I a very special dinner, just for a treat for us. She decorated the sun room table with a special table cloth, made a printed menu, and a special dessert. Then, she served us, as if we were on a special date. It was very sweet.

Interesting Menu

Whistle's been playing with counting bears (50 little bears in 5 colors, with matching cups for sorting). When he tires of counting and sorting - he's started playing Waiter, offering the bears as food. These are some of the things he offered me a couple of days ago.

French fries with pancakes
Cheese with cornbread
'Corn beef' with spaghetti
Spaghetti with orange juice . . . Or . . . Orange juice WITH spaghetti!
Strawberries and corn (". . . and the spoon is when you stir," he said.)

Today's offering was:
Ice cream with corn, chocolate, mushrooms and steak. Then he said he'd be right back with my dessert order!

Summer School Report

After the last post, one of our daughters said it sounds like I'm one of those mothers that the school treats as troublesome, and someone they have to 'deal with.' I hope our school doesn't see it that way - it feels like we're more of a team, working together for the same goal. I've always said I didn't want to be one of those "stomping and screaming mothers in the office," and it is a lot more successful to try to be on the same team, instead of different sides. They may feel differently about it, though. ;-)

All in all, summer school was a successful experience. He loved going, and every day when I'd ask what he did today, he's say, "Ate lunch, and went outside" (exactly the same things Hugger used to talk about). Then later, when I wasn't asking, he'd offer information about his activities, or what another student did. He memorizes quickly, so sang songs from school often.

Snippets from the teachers' notes at the end of the session:
---He is very with it, and has a great memory. He is always repeating things that I said to him from the first week of school. Of course it makes me laugh :)
---He truly has a huge and kind heart.
---[Whistle] is such a lovable boy, and he is so special.
---I am very pleased with his progress just in the last week with his excitement about his name!
Just the sort of things a mother wants to hear!
On the other hand:
---He is having a bit of trouble relaxing at rest time, he says "The sun is out and that is telling me that it is not time to sleep."
---Some things you could practice with him at home are read alouds where he is not allowed to talk until the end of the book, and then he can share what he wants after raising his hand. (You can read between the lines about that one! Or see the post from June 10th.)
---(When writing his name) He is trying extremely hard, but when I try to help him he will not let me. Practicing with him and letting him know that it is okay to accept help will help him in the classroom.
Other things we will do at home are clothes pins play to strengthen his hands and improve coordination, more work on colors and numbers, and cutting. Anything we can do to stretch that very short attention span will be helpful, I'm sure!

Now, it's only a few weeks of summer, and school will start in mid-August!

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It's Off to School He Goes (Kindergarten, that is)

Has it really been almost four years that Whistle's been with us? In some ways, it feels like forever, as he's so much a part of us. However, the idea of going to Kindergarten is pretty unbelievable. Can it really be that time ALREADY?

For kids with disabilities, beginning kindergarten has few similarities with a typical five year old. He's already had much more school experience than most pre-K kids. (We won't discuss the day-care tots - that's different, and a whole 'nother discussion.) When he was between one and two years old, we went to the site of a special needs pre-school in a near-by city for physical therapy and occupational therapy. Then for a year he attended that pre-school for 3 hours, twice a week, along with his therapies. His class of about 5 were specially chosen as "tiny-two-year-olds." The last two years, he's attended 4 mornings a week, received speech, PT and OT, and ridden a special bus. An earlier post tells about his graduation from there.

As he was finishing up his 'getting ready for school - school,' we were preparing for the real school. Medical appointments, evaluations, meetings, conversations with teachers, multiple emails, decisions, testing, and so forth. Then the school called to set up his 'kindergarten screening.' As it turned out, that was a mistake, and he wouldn't have to have more tests after all -- he'd already had many more tests with more detail than they would obtain that day. However, he would go to visit the kindergarten class. Each child attends with this year's class for one morning, to see what school is like. He loved it, of course. His only disappointment was when he found out he didn't get to go back again the next day. (When I picked him up at the appointed time, the teacher was reading a giant book to the class. The students were all sitting on the carpet, listening. That is, all except one. Whistle was standing in the middle of the group, asking a question. Then another. And beginning a third, when the teacher kindly pointed out, "Your mother is here to pick you up." :-)

In the olden days (aka not very long ago) 5 year old children started Kindergarten in the fall. It took them a little while to adjust to school, but by the end of the year it was 'old hat' to all of them. A successful plan, I would think. It seems the newer option is to start with summer school, to make the transition easier. So . . . a little over one week after the pre-school year was over, he began again! For traditional kindergartners, that may be a fine idea. For kids like some of ours, I'm not so sure. We've done the testing, and documented strategies that will help him be successful, hoping to ward off a few future difficulties. The Kindergarten teachers, therapists, and specialists have visited the other school to prepare for the group who are moving to their district this year. The IEP has carefully been written, and information prepared to be shared with those who are expected to be working with him. The only thing yet to be decided is the classroom placement (which teacher). That may even be decided - but we haven't been told yet. So . . . with every possible preparation made for the fall, we jump into Summer School. The teachers are different (in fact, one teacher for two weeks, another for two weeks, and neither will be kindergarten teachers in the fall), the schedule is more relaxed, and they're going swimming three times. Whew!! That's scary for me. It might be easier for some students to have a gradual introduction to school, but for kids who need schedules and routines . . . whoa! A phone call to the first-two-weeks teacher helped calm me some. I was able to let her know how he might be different from others in her class, and she seemed appreciative of the information, and asked good questions. She might have been receiving more info through the sp. ed. department before summer school was to start, but at least I knew she knew the basics of what she needed to know, and she was appreciative of the direct contact.

As it turned out, Whistle and I were out of town the first four days of school, but I justified it in my mind knowing that the other kids would have the routine down when he arrived, and he'd slide in smoother. Friday was his first day. He was ready to go, and helped me get ready, too, "so we can't be late." The principal met us in the hall (remember those earlier meetings? we're already known), and he took us to locate the class (not a K room in the K hallway, either) and meet the teacher. She showed Whistle where to put his back-pack, and how to mark his lunch choice. From there, it was outside with the others until class time, and the time had come for me to leave. Hugs and a kiss, and he was off with the high-school-age classroom helper, to return to us after the school day was over at 3 o'clock.

Our kind readers who are acquainted with Whistle describe him as a 'little man,' with his long sentences and big ideas. However, there is much about him that doesn't show initially, and school will always be a challenge for him, progressively more so as the years roll on, I imagine. Many people have had a part in helping him prepare for this day, and we appreciate all their support, and will rely on many resources as he continues through school.

I try not to look back at How Long Ago it was that Hugger started kindergarten, because that makes me realize How Very Old we'll be when Whistle graduates from High School, if the Lord blesses us to raise him. But if the next 13 years go as fast as the last 4 have, it will be here in no time at all!