Play Ball!

On the first day of this year's tee ball practice, Whistle said, "Practice!?
Why not a REAL game?
I ALREADY know how to play!"

On the way to tonight's game, he said, "Do you know what I'm going to do when I grow up?"
Other Mother: "No, What?"
Whistle: "I'm going to play COACH pitch!"

What She Said, What They Said

I have lots of things I've wanted to write about, but obviously haven't gotten it done. Hugger's been to Camp Barnabas (that post is still in draft form), we took Whistle to a STL Cardinal's game, he's played several tee ball games, I finished a 9 week training for new foster parents, Father and I attended a foster care conference and saw a couple of shows at Branson. Plus this is the last of 4 weeks of summer school for Whistle, C. and E. We also have had LOTS of communication with local offices of our state agency. That hasn't been good, and we're tired of thinking about it. Sometimes it's frustrating beyond belief to have workers who just don't "get it." Because of lack of communication and a worker who doesn't get it - we missed a very important event in Whistle's case. It doesn't change any of the outcome, but was emotionally draining for us.

However - today I have something else I want to share with you. I'd like you to read Claudia's post at Never a Dull Moment.

I don't think every family needs to do foster care by any means, but I do firmly believe everyone should be doing something to help others. There is no James 1:28, as she said. The King James Version gives the verse as "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world." I don't know what the original language word was that is translated as "visit," but I do know that as Christians, and following Biblical teaching in general, we should be looking for opportunities to give, help, and support. Doing foster care and adoption is one part of that - but everyone can (and should!) do something.

Teenager Update

It's been a while since I downloaded pictures from the camera, and it was like looking through a scrapbook remembering the last few weeks. First on the camera were pictures of dyeing Easter Eggs (edited to correct DYING Easter Eggs - how awful!). Even Father got involved this year! Next was Teenager's birthday. We celebrated with her the day before her birthday on May 4th. Since her birthday is on Cinco de Mayo, she always wants to have Mexican food, and celebrating a day early helped us avoid the crowds of Cinco de Mayo. This year it was a necessity, but maybe it will be a preference from now on! The picture above is with her sombrero (and whipped cream on her nose, from the HUGE ice cream dessert the waiters brought when they sang to her). It's hard to believe she is actually 17. Where does the time go? She was only 10 when she came to us, and such a little girl!

We see Teenager off and on, and talk on the phone often. We had met her boyfriend once before, but on Memorial Day, we took a couple of friends, and we all had dinner together. It was a good day. Teenager is healthy and happy, and we're very thankful. She has a summer job, which is nice for her, too. We love you, girl!

Like Mother . . .

Emma is loving her first days in kindergarten. She turned 5 last August, so it's been a long time for her to wait. She likes to be busy all the time. When she was a toddler, she didn't play with toys, but would check out everything on every table (in other words, everything we didn't want her to touch)! When her mother, Sarah, picked her up from school yesterday, she asked the teacher, "Does she talk all the time?" The teacher looked surprised and said, "No." Then she went on to say, "She's quite the mother hen, though! And that's okay, because we have some who DO need help!" When Sarah related it to me, we both laughed, because Sarah knew . . .

A few years ago, a little girl named Sarah started kindergarten in eastern Nebraska. One day the teacher was showing a substitute teacher around her room, and she said, "If there's anything you need to know, just ask Sarah. She knows everything that's going on. If anyone even brings a note to my desk, she wants to know what it's about!" When the teacher told me that, I was suitably embarrassed of course, but we had a good laugh, because . . . that was Sarah!

So, if "Like Mother, Like Daughter" . . . it makes me wonder where Sarah got it. If you desire to comment, please remember this rule: If you can't say something nice, please don't say anything at all." ;-)

First Day of Summer School

Today was the first day of summer school. For granddaughter E., that meant the first day of SCHOOL, as they can go to summer school before actually starting kindergarten in the fall. She got up early, excited about going. A little TOO excited and nervous, in fact, and she lost her breakfast before leaving the house. She wasn't the least bit hesitant, though. She will be 6 in August, so has waited a l-o-n-g time for this day to come, and she was ready, even if a little queasy in her stomach.

C. wasn't all that excited about going back to school, but WAS excited about seeing her best friend Firecracker from the Ours family again. As soon as she saw her walking to class, she jumped into the line with her, and Firecracker said to me, "Will you call my mom and tell her I said, Hi?" I did, on my way out of the building. Things like that make the first day of school fun for all of us. As Firecracker's mom says, "That girl!"


Whistle was also excited. He knew exactly which outfit he wanted to wear. Our conversation went like this:

Whistle: I want those blue pants and that Nike shirt.
Other Mother: Which blue pants and Nike shirt?
Whistle: You know. The blue pants and Nike shirt!
Other Mother: I don't know which ones you mean.
Whistle: You know . . . that shirt that I go "AAARRRRAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!" and you go "Do you need help?"
I still didn't know, but now know that apparently he had trouble getting it on last time!


As the Mom from the Ours family and I both know - these later in life kids keep us on our toes!!

They Can't Live Without Me, And the Feeling is Mutual

I'm not really a slacker, I just haven't been blogging because we've had a lot of other things going on. The month of May always brings plenty to do with end-of-school performances, picnics and field trips, and soccer season was late, too (rainout/reschedule rainout/reschedule, etc.). I've been doing several home studies for the contracted agency that I work for occasionally, too. We've adopted two new computers, and fought two computer viruses (virii?) as well.

So - that's my excuse, even if I am a slacker at blogging. I've missed you, if anyone is still out there to hear me say so.

Tonight I clicked down the Caller ID list on the phone, looking for a particular call. I didn't find the one I was looking for, but this is what I *did* find:

Hugger

Ben

Sarah
Hugger
Hugger
Liz

Father's Cell

Hugger

Hugger

Father's Cell

Hugger
Father's Cell
Hugger
Father's Cell
Sarah
Hugger
Father's Cell
Sarah
Hugger
Liz
Father's Cell
Father's Cell
Father's Cell
Hugger
Father's Cell
Father's Cell
Father's Cell
Other Mother's Cell
Father's Cell
Father's Cell

When I find something for Father that he can't find, I often remind him that I've done it because, "I don't ever want you to think you can live without me!" Apparently, it's true for him, and for the rest of the family, also.

Two and a half days worth of phone calls, and that's who's called our house. Apparently, we're very close.

Either that, or we need to get a life!

Seriously, though. Tomorrow is Mother's Day, and I am Blessed Above Measure. Blessed to be the wife of FatherOfThemAll; Blessed to be Mom to Sarah, Ben, Liz (and their spouses), Hugger, Teenager, and Whistle; Blessed to be Grandma to C. and E., H. and A., CN and yet-to-be-born G.; and Blessed also to be Other Mother to more than 160 others out there, who were in our home for a while, and our hearts forever. Who could ask for more? I love you all!

35 Minutes, and Then They're Gone

The interview toward accreditation went basically like I had expected. In the last couple of hours before she arrived, I had a sudden fear that I would be asked to share MY files, similar to the way they go over agency files. That was an intimidating thought, for sure -- and I'm glad it didn't involve anything like that. The interviewer was female, from a mountainous state to the west. I was surprised to hear that she was a volunteer. She asked me my thoughts, rather than specific questions, but many were close to what I had expected.

She asked about our training, and what I thought of it. I responded saying I liked that we are allowed to get 1/2 our training hours from outside sources, so I could attend trainings specific to my children, especially those with medical needs. (I did not say that the trainings offered by the agency were often boring and repetitive, unless they were presented by someone outside the agency, from new material. I was trying to be a good team member.) She also wondered about my role as a trainer of new foster parents, and how that was structured. We team-teach: a degreed social worker, counselor, or other professional, along with a foster parent. (We provide the color commentary to go along with the play-by-play.) She delved a little further into that, getting assurance from me that our practice is full involvement with the training, actually presenting half the material, not just dropping by occasionally.

Another question was about mentoring of new foster parents. Although we do a lot of mentoring, some of it arranged by the agency, and some of it naturally occurring by active foster parents and through the foster parent group, there is no official mentoring of every new foster family that I know of. It has been mentioned, but is not in regular practice.

She also asked if I felt I was part of the team (definitely, and I remember the time, years ago, when that was not the case), and if the agency is responsive to concerns (also a definite yes answer). In fact, with the new administration in our agency, we now have regular meetings to share foster parent concerns with the administration. Naturally, we have some complaints about things not on the local level, but I believe they're doing what they can, locally. A little more flexibility would be nice, but we can't have everything.

I was asked the one thing I'd most like to see changed, and then the one thing I enjoy most about what I do. My biggest concern is lack of new foster parents, and foster parent retention. The more families we have, the better the matches can be made, and the more successful placements will be. Along with that -- actually the basis of retention of foster parents -- I think is feeling supported by the agency. The key to this is knowledgeable workers - seasoned workers who have some experience under their belts. In this area, we are a college town, and have many new graduates who begin their careers in our agency, then move elsewhere. The constant turnover is a downfall, but I'm not sure what to do to prevent it. The thing I enjoy most is seeing a child's success -- those little daily things, having a child experience growth through something he's accomplished that he didn't belive he could. That's all I need - just a smile from a kid, and an occasional pat on the back from the agency.

There were a couple of other subjects that I can't think of right now -- I'll edit later if I remember them. The team left here to meet with an adoptive parent, and then a young man who aged out of the system.

All in all -- it was a good experience. I hope they get the information they're looking for, and our agency can get back to the focus of serving the children in our care, rather than meeting accreditation standards. Paperwork is important, but not the most important thing, by far.