And one more makes . . . ?

Make-up Games in Tee Ball

2009-07-23T20:16:00.005-05:00

Okay - it took a survey request to get me back to the blog again. Sorry. Blogging, Facebook, Twitter - what is the world coming to? (Actually, I don't twitter. I have just begun to text, though.) There must be some time for real life, which is pretty full in the summer!

Recent kid comments:

E. was showing me her foot the other day. She said she has a "pinky toe," 3 in the middle, and a "thumb toe!"

Also, I doubt if E. has a huge future in baseball. She has a make-up game scheduled for her tee ball team, and she said, "Grandma, I think I know what we're going to do at the make-up game. I think our team is going to chase the other team and see who can get all the make-up!"

Sarah, C. and E. are moving from our home next month. Whistle said, "When C. and E. move, can we look for more foster kids?" Probably eventually, but I thought it might be really interesting to see what it was like for only three (3!!) of us to be in this house. We'll see . . . . If they call with a baby with medical needs, I'm right on it. Otherwise, I guess we'll see. When Whistle asked me a question the other day, I answered, "We'll see." He cried and said, "We'll see means no!" In this case, though, it means . . . we'll see. And . . . when I jokingly mentioned "getting a new kid" to Ben yesterday, he said I should sign the "non-adoption clause" first. He should meet Claudia, Teresa, and all the others of you who really DO have big families. Here, we haven't managed to fulfil our blog name . . . And one more makes SIX!

Adoption Survey

2009-07-23T20:09:00.000-05:00

If you adopted an unrelated child from foster care, your input is needed for a survey on post adoption birthparent contact. Michelle Roberts, a foster and adoptive parent herself, is doing a graduate thesis on post adoption contact in foster care adoptions. Even if you have had no contact with your child's birthparents, your input is valuable to the study. The online survey takes less than 10 minutes to complete and contains no identifying information. As a special thank you, you will be entered into a drawing for a chance to win a $100 gift certificate to the store of your choice. Please take a moment to help with this study. Go to www.AdoptionStudy.org for the online survey or contact Michelle at meroberts2@eiu.edu if you would prefer to have a paper survey mailed to you. Your help is greatly appreciated!

Play Ball!

2009-06-25T00:31:00.004-05:00

On the first day of this year's tee ball practice, Whistle said, "Practice!?
Why not a REAL game?
I ALREADY know how to play!"

On the way to tonight's game, he said, "Do you know what I'm going to do when I grow up?"
Other Mother: "No, What?"
Whistle: "I'm going to play COACH pitch!"

What She Said, What They Said

2009-06-24T08:44:00.011-05:00

I have lots of things I've wanted to write about, but obviously haven't gotten it done. Hugger's been to Camp Barnabas (that post is still in draft form), we took Whistle to a STL Cardinal's game, he's played several tee ball games, I finished a 9 week training for new foster parents, Father and I attended a foster care conference and saw a couple of shows at Branson. Plus this is the last of 4 weeks of summer school for Whistle, C. and E. We also have had LOTS of communication with local offices of our state agency. That hasn't been good, and we're tired of thinking about it. Sometimes it's frustrating beyond belief to have workers who just don't "get it." Because of lack of communication and a worker who doesn't get it - we missed a very important event in Whistle's case. It doesn't change any of the outcome, but was emotionally draining for us.

However - today I have something else I want to share with you. I'd like you to read Claudia's post at Never a Dull Moment.

I don't think every family needs to do foster care by any means, but I do firmly believe everyone should be doing something to help others. There is no James 1:28, as she said. The King James Version gives the verse as "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world." I don't know what the original language word was that is translated as "visit," but I do know that as Christians, and following Biblical teaching in general, we should be looking for opportunities to give, help, and support. Doing foster care and adoption is one part of that - but everyone can (and should!) do something.

Teenager Update

2009-06-05T09:02:00.008-05:00

It's been a while since I downloaded pictures from the camera, and it was like looking through a scrapbook remembering the last few weeks. First on the camera were pictures of dyeing Easter Eggs (edited to correct DYING Easter Eggs - how awful!). Even Father got involved this year! Next was Teenager's birthday. We celebrated with her the day before her birthday on May 4th. Since her birthday is on Cinco de Mayo, she always wants to have Mexican food, and celebrating a day early helped us avoid the crowds of Cinco de Mayo. This year it was a necessity, but maybe it will be a preference from now on! The picture above is with her sombrero (and whipped cream on her nose, from the HUGE ice cream dessert the waiters brought when they sang to her). It's hard to believe she is actually 17. Where does the time go? She was only 10 when she came to us, and such a little girl!

We see Teenager off and on, and talk on the phone often. We had met her boyfriend once before, but on Memorial Day, we took a couple of friends, and we all had dinner together. It was a good day. Teenager is healthy and happy, and we're very thankful. She has a summer job, which is nice for her, too. We love you, girl!

Like Mother . . .

2009-06-04T13:48:00.011-05:00

Emma is loving her first days in kindergarten. She turned 5 last August, so it's been a long time for her to wait. She likes to be busy all the time. When she was a toddler, she didn't play with toys, but would check out everything on every table (in other words, everything we didn't want her to touch)! When her mother, Sarah, picked her up from school yesterday, she asked the teacher, "Does she talk all the time?" The teacher looked surprised and said, "No." Then she went on to say, "She's quite the mother hen, though! And that's okay, because we have some who DO need help!" When Sarah related it to me, we both laughed, because Sarah knew . . .

A few years ago, a little girl named Sarah started kindergarten in eastern Nebraska. One day the teacher was showing a substitute teacher around her room, and she said, "If there's anything you need to know, just ask Sarah. She knows everything that's going on. If anyone even brings a note to my desk, she wants to know what it's about!" When the teacher told me that, I was suitably embarrassed of course, but we had a good laugh, because . . . that was Sarah!

So, if "Like Mother, Like Daughter" . . . it makes me wonder where Sarah got it. If you desire to comment, please remember this rule: If you can't say something nice, please don't say anything at all." ;-)

First Day of Summer School

2009-06-02T00:41:00.022-05:00

Today was the first day of summer school. For granddaughter E., that meant the first day of SCHOOL, as they can go to summer school before actually starting kindergarten in the fall. She got up early, excited about going. A little TOO excited and nervous, in fact, and she lost her breakfast before leaving the house. She wasn't the least bit hesitant, though. She will be 6 in August, so has waited a l-o-n-g time for this day to come, and she was ready, even if a little queasy in her stomach.

C. wasn't all that excited about going back to school, but WAS excited about seeing her best friend Firecracker from the Ours family again. As soon as she saw her walking to class, she jumped into the line with her, and Firecracker said to me, "Will you call my mom and tell her I said, Hi?" I did, on my way out of the building. Things like that make the first day of school fun for all of us. As Firecracker's mom says, "That girl!"

Whistle was also excited. He knew exactly which outfit he wanted to wear. Our conversation went like this:

Whistle: I want those blue pants and that Nike shirt.
Other Mother: Which blue pants and Nike shirt?
Whistle: You know. The blue pants and Nike shirt!
Other Mother: I don't know which ones you mean.
Whistle: You know . . . that shirt that I go "AAARRRRAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!" and you go "Do you need help?"
I still didn't know, but now know that apparently he had trouble getting it on last time!

As the Mom from the Ours family and I both know - these later in life kids keep us on our toes!!

They Can't Live Without Me, And the Feeling is Mutual

2009-05-09T22:19:00.024-05:00

I'm not really a slacker, I just haven't been blogging because we've had a lot of other things going on. The month of May always brings plenty to do with end-of-school performances, picnics and field trips, and soccer season was late, too (rainout/reschedule rainout/reschedule, etc.). I've been doing several home studies for the contracted agency that I work for occasionally, too. We've adopted two new computers, and fought two computer viruses (virii?) as well.

So - that's my excuse, even if I am a slacker at blogging. I've missed you, if anyone is still out there to hear me say so.

Tonight I clicked down the Caller ID list on the phone, looking for a particular call. I didn't find the one I was looking for, but this is what I *did* find:

Hugger

Ben

Sarah
Hugger
Hugger
Liz

Father's Cell

Hugger

Father's Cell

Hugger
Father's Cell
Hugger
Father's Cell
Sarah
Hugger
Father's Cell
Sarah
Hugger
Liz
Father's Cell
Father's Cell
Father's Cell
Hugger
Father's Cell
Father's Cell
Father's Cell
Other Mother's Cell
Father's Cell
Father's Cell

When I find something for Father that he can't find, I often remind him that I've done it because, "I don't ever want you to think you can live without me!" Apparently, it's true for him, and for the rest of the family, also.

Two and a half days worth of phone calls, and that's who's called our house. Apparently, we're very close.

Either that, or we need to get a life!

Seriously, though. Tomorrow is Mother's Day, and I am Blessed Above Measure. Blessed to be the wife of FatherOfThemAll; Blessed to be Mom to Sarah, Ben, Liz (and their spouses), Hugger, Teenager, and Whistle; Blessed to be Grandma to C. and E., H. and A., CN and yet-to-be-born G.; and Blessed also to be Other Mother to more than 160 others out there, who were in our home for a while, and our hearts forever. Who could ask for more? I love you all!

35 Minutes, and Then They're Gone

2009-04-08T14:47:00.015-05:00

The interview toward accreditation went basically like I had expected. In the last couple of hours before she arrived, I had a sudden fear that I would be asked to share MY files, similar to the way they go over agency files. That was an intimidating thought, for sure -- and I'm glad it didn't involve anything like that. The interviewer was female, from a mountainous state to the west. I was surprised to hear that she was a volunteer. She asked me my thoughts, rather than specific questions, but many were close to what I had expected.

She asked about our training, and what I thought of it. I responded saying I liked that we are allowed to get 1/2 our training hours from outside sources, so I could attend trainings specific to my children, especially those with medical needs. (I did not say that the trainings offered by the agency were often boring and repetitive, unless they were presented by someone outside the agency, from new material. I was trying to be a good team member.) She also wondered about my role as a trainer of new foster parents, and how that was structured. We team-teach: a degreed social worker, counselor, or other professional, along with a foster parent. (We provide the color commentary to go along with the play-by-play.) She delved a little further into that, getting assurance from me that our practice is full involvement with the training, actually presenting half the material, not just dropping by occasionally.

Another question was about mentoring of new foster parents. Although we do a lot of mentoring, some of it arranged by the agency, and some of it naturally occurring by active foster parents and through the foster parent group, there is no official mentoring of every new foster family that I know of. It has been mentioned, but is not in regular practice.

She also asked if I felt I was part of the team (definitely, and I remember the time, years ago, when that was not the case), and if the agency is responsive to concerns (also a definite yes answer). In fact, with the new administration in our agency, we now have regular meetings to share foster parent concerns with the administration. Naturally, we have some complaints about things not on the local level, but I believe they're doing what they can, locally. A little more flexibility would be nice, but we can't have everything.

I was asked the one thing I'd most like to see changed, and then the one thing I enjoy most about what I do. My biggest concern is lack of new foster parents, and foster parent retention. The more families we have, the better the matches can be made, and the more successful placements will be. Along with that -- actually the basis of retention of foster parents -- I think is feeling supported by the agency. The key to this is knowledgeable workers - seasoned workers who have some experience under their belts. In this area, we are a college town, and have many new graduates who begin their careers in our agency, then move elsewhere. The constant turnover is a downfall, but I'm not sure what to do to prevent it. The thing I enjoy most is seeing a child's success -- those little daily things, having a child experience growth through something he's accomplished that he didn't belive he could. That's all I need - just a smile from a kid, and an occasional pat on the back from the agency.

There were a couple of other subjects that I can't think of right now -- I'll edit later if I remember them. The team left here to meet with an adoptive parent, and then a young man who aged out of the system.

All in all -- it was a good experience. I hope they get the information they're looking for, and our agency can get back to the focus of serving the children in our care, rather than meeting accreditation standards. Paperwork is important, but not the most important thing, by far.

Special Visitors

2009-04-08T06:45:00.006-05:00

Today I am expecting visitors at home. Coming this afternoon will be the caseworker who licenses and supports foster parents with higher-than-typical-need foster children (my supervisor), her supervisor, and an out-of-state person who will interview me about the state children's services agency and the local county and circuit. Our state agency is undergoing an accreditation process, and our county and circuit is one of the last to be assessed in this process.

I haven't understood the exact reason our state agency wants/needs to be accredited, but I imagine it involves money, somehow -- possibly access to funds from the federal level. Whatever the reason, better practices never hurt any agency. One of the things we've noticed recently is a reduction in cases per worker. Fewer cases should mean better service to the children. My strengths don't lie in statistics, or legislative or fiscal matters, but I'm happiest right here in the trenches, with the kids in our home and family. However, in recent years, I have become a little more involved, because I see what a difference it makes to advocate on behalf of our children and others in foster care.

I don't really know what to expect from this visit. Maybe questions like: "How long have you been a foster parent, and how many kids have you cared for?" "How often do the workers visit you, and how often do they visit the children?" "How is your relationship with the agency workers?" "What do you see as the strengths and weaknesses of this agency?" "What are your training requirements?" They may also ask to see a foster child's bedroom, but I really don't expect this meeting to be a "house inspection." Nevertheless -- I have sorted and put away some paper-work piles, and the clutter that so quickly accumulates. There's no reason not to try to make a good impression!

Because we've been foster parents for so many years (29), had such a wide variety of kiddos, and I work with the local foster parent support group and train prospective foster parents -- we have a fairly broad perspective. As I've said before, "I may not always be right, but I always have opinions!" ;-)

We'll see what the afternoon brings . . . .

I'll be back to let you know how it went.

Family Update

2009-03-23T07:47:00.032-05:00

***

Spring is coming, and the return of the killdeer in the front yard is always a good sign that the winter doldrums will soon be behind us. It's been a long winter for this family, and we're looking forward to the brighter spring days ahead. We're on spring break this week -- a good time to take stock of things around us and get ready for what lies ahead.

An update on the family:

Sarah -- and the girls are still with us. We've enjoyed watching C. and E. grow and change this school year. It's amazing what a difference a few months can make! Girl scouts, friends, soccer, and bicycles keep them busy.

Ben and Julie -- H and A are awaiting the arrival of their new little brother in August. Ben's new job is improving, and Julie's hobby of photography is beginning to spread by word of mouth. She now has her first client, other than family and friends. Check out her pics in their blog Count Your Blessings.

George and Liz -- CN is 9 weeks old now, smiling, and settling in to a routine. This is Liz's first full week back at work -- a difficult transition for them all. Julie will be her babysitter, along with H and A as helpers.

Hugger -- played basketball at the state Special Olympic games this weekend. He proudly showed us his bronze medal, and said, "We won, we won!"

Teenager -- is still having a difficult time, and we continue to ask for prayer for her. The plan is for her to live with a foster family until she can return to us. We love her, and would love for her to be at home with us again. We miss her!!

Whistle -- is playing basketball. I know that's not news. He plays basketball more than half of every day, I'm sure. School is going well for him, and his attention is improving. Soccer season is beginning, with practices this month. If it involves a ball, he loves the game. We're still waiting for court action toward permanency for him.

Here's to spring mornings, with juice or coffee on the front porch!

***

A Game of Hope

2009-03-23T07:30:00.006-05:00

***
Everyone can use some encouragement, and this school shows a great Christian example of support. In serving others, often we are the ones who are blessed.

***

Old Friends

2009-03-18T08:52:00.009-05:00

Last weekend, we attended a wedding, and enjoyed seeing many friends we hadn't seen in several years. The groom is the son of very dear church and fostering friends of ours -- our mentors and friends since before we were married. We are also acquainted with the bride and her family, so we knew most of the people attending. Some of those we last saw as teens, and now they have families of their own. That happens so quickly, it seems!

For a couple of days after the wedding, we were blessed with visitors at home, the parents of the groom. We shared a lot -- hearing about their humanitarian and church work in Mexico, our experiences in this church community, stories about former foster children we've both had including some experiences and children in common, and the trials and tribulations of fostering very challenging children. It's a special time when you can be with people whose experiences have been similar - they "just get it" in so many ways that others don't. We didn't have to fill in background stories, explain our motives, or the outcome. They just knew. It was refreshing to be together again, and we look forward to the next time, even knowing it may be years away.

We shared laughs and tears, and one evening the laugh was on me, for sure! For supper that night, I planned an Italian dinner -- two kinds of ravioli, two sauces, with salad and bread. We were spending our time visiting, instead of worrying about food, and all were things I had on hand and easy to prepare.

Everything was fine until our guest tasted his dinner and said with surprise, "Oh, there's a bite to that!" I was surprised -- he lives in Mexico, and surely eats a lot of hot things. I didn't taste that "bite," at least at first, but soon I knew what he was talking about. I checked the kitchen and discovered that instead of adding a jar of spaghetti sauce to my pot of marinara, I'd added a 16 oz jar of picante sauce. There was a "bite" to that for sure, and I think an Italian diner would be surprised! As my friend Karen said, A little Mexican never hurt anyone!

You Know It's Been A Bad Day . . . .

2009-03-13T12:45:00.002-05:00

***
We sometimes read about the families we work with in the paper. Sometimes we read newspaper stories about kids in tragic situations, and we've already been asked to care for those kids while family problems get worked out. Sometimes we get a different sort of news -- as shown by my good friend, the Mom of the "Ours" family. We also know the person this story is about, although we haven't had direct connections with him in a while.

Read her story here.
***

Dark Mornings

2009-03-11T01:02:00.008-05:00

I've never been very bothered by the change to daylight savings time, but it was a little different this year. It started with Midnight Teen's arrival on Saturday. Then on Sunday night, I couldn't sleep, and got back up for a couple of hours. On Monday morning, I hit the snooze button a time or two, looked at the clock, and a full hour had passed! I don't know what I did - slept through the radio, or turned it off -- who knows? I do know we hurried to get 3 kids dressed, fed, and two of them to school in thirty minutes!

I think it bothered Hugger more this year, too. He has a new alarm clock and gets himself up now, and on Tuesday morning, he called home early, and sounded very slow and groggy. He said, "Mommm? It's . . . still . . . dark!" I had to be the bearer of the bad news, "Yes, I know, but it's still time to get up and get dressed." Poor guy - I knew JUST how he felt!

Update on Midnight Teen

2009-03-08T15:54:00.005-05:00

***
As often happens -- things didn't go exactly as planned, but it was a good experience for us, and hopefully, for the teen. We did get a call giving us the option to keep her longer so she could avoid going to a temporary shelter until they locate and arrange a foster home, but because of our licensing capacity, we couldn't consider that. Also - we are still working closely with our own Teenager's situation, and we don't want to complicate that with an additional child.

A few phone calls back and forth, and a pair of workers traveling from several counties away to meet the on-call worker from last night who was picking up her belongings. Plans to meet at the typical meeting place -- McDonald's. Midnight Teen is now on her way to a temporary place, and eventually, a new living situation. Children are not moved from home to home willy-nilly, as some think. There's always a reason. We do wish things were better for children, but many kids and families have more problems than they can deal with, and the resulting fallout is not good. Those problems are often multiplied through the generations. It is very sad. We are so limited in what we can do, but hopefully, we've been a bright spot for her for a few hours, at least.

Midnight Teen - we are saying prayers for you, and wish you well.
***

Middle of the Night Phone Call

2009-03-08T01:50:00.006-06:00

***
It's 1:50 a.m. and if I hadn't done it earlier, I could change the clocks at 2:00 a.m. as the newspapers and anchormen remind us to. Instead (because I set my bedroom alarm clock in the afternoon, because that's the clock that really matters), we sit here waiting for a teenager to arrive. A teenager we haven't met yet - and we don't even know his/her name. We were told the sex, the age, and only because we asked, the circumstances of why this teen needs a bed in the middle of the night. From the relief in the worker's voice when we agreed to take the teen overnight, I think we were a long way down the list of emergency foster parents; those who would consider taking a child on very short notice.

One part of foster care that isn't often talked about is called "emergency foster care." Usually, kids come and go during weekday, daytime hours, but that isn't always possible. Things happen at odd times, too. A parent gets detained or arrested and there's no one to call to stay with the children; a teen runs away from home, foster home, or other residence; or some other circumstance. The story is never the same. Once we had 3 preschool-age children, including a baby in an infant seat, arrive at midnight, because the parents' meth lab in their home was "busted." The children were very thirsty, very dirty, and very upset and crying over the disruption to their "normal" life.

Lots of things go through our minds as we begin to wake up, and make preparations for the new arrival. Tonight, our first realization was that Hugger is home overnight, and is in the bedroom we need for this child. Oops! He's cooperative, although confused, and moves across the hall to sleep in Whistle's room. I check the room, taking out anything that could be dangerous or tempting to a teen, and make up the bed. Then I check the bathroom, and then wait. Will it be an angry teen, fed up with the system, and be at risk for running away? Will this be one who needs medication, and will they have it with them? Not likely. Will we regret that they don't have their medicine, and haven't had any all day? Possibly. We were told that this child would be picked up tomorrow by another agency, and transported elsewhere. Will that actually happen? Maybe. But maybe not.
----------
Update: unknown teen is here, is tired, and is cooperative. At least for now. My first impression is that this will go well, and for that, I'm thankful. Morning telephone calls should make the transfer plan for later in the day, and we'll see what happens. Back to bed now, and hopefully we'll get a little more sleep before morning comes.

LSD is Homeless?

2009-03-06T15:02:00.007-06:00

I'm not feeling inspired to write anything insightful, so will share with you this headline from the local newspaper:

Deputies Find LSD in Search of Home

Answering Machine Error

2009-03-03T13:01:00.005-06:00

I made a phone call yesterday, and this is the message I heard:

(Automated voice) "The person you are trying to call . . .
(Homeowner's voice) "I'm sorry, but I'm not available."
(Automated voice) ". . . has a voice mailbox that is full." "Please try your call again later."

Today, I tried again, and heard:
(Automated voice) "The person you are trying to call . . ."
(Homeowner's voice) "I'm sorry, but I'm not available."
(Automated voice) " . . . is not available . . . "

Technology . . .gone dorky. It struck my funny bone, but now that I'm writing it . . . maybe you just had to be there.

Grandma Time!

2009-03-01T10:23:00.010-06:00

I saw a baby onesie with the saying on it, "I need some Grandma Time!" What a great idea, a tee shirt to remind those kids of ours to come visit, and give us some grandma and grandpa time! This weekend it was extra nice to have an opportunity to spend some time with the three youngest girls who call me grandma.

Ben and Julie came to the area to celebrate a friend's birthday on Friday evening, and they and their girls spent Friday night and Saturday with us. It was a special pleasure to read to H at bedtime, pray with her, and be the one to tuck her in. They helped us with some church cleaning in the morning, and we spent the afternoon just relaxing, reading books and playing with the girls. Thirty minutes after they left, Liz and George arrived for CN's first overnight visit. At this young age, every visit brings lots of changes as she goes from being a newborn, to an infant who reacts to things around her.

What a joy to get to be with these delightful little girls!

Speaking of granddaughters -- I've begun to notice changes in C and E, too. Since they came to stay with us a few months ago, C is stretching up to be so tall -- she reminds me more of a 4th grader than a 2nd grade girl. She busies herself around the house with coloring and other creative projects. She spent the night last night with her friend Firecracker, and it sounds like there was not a dull moment with the two of them together. C's sister E is also growing up and changing. She has just learned to "ride a two-wheel bike," so she goes outside several times a day to ride down the driveway and back. E loves helping grandma with the cooking and cleaning, too. Last night, she helped Hugger set the table for dinner, and she told him to get the casserole from the oven. He did as she instructed, and it wasn't until 30 minutes later when I went to check the status of the cooking dinner that I discovered it was already on the table! It went back into the oven to finish, and we had a family dinner with George and Liz, even though a little later than expected.

5 sweet little girls. What could be better than that? Well -- only the anticipation of the next grandchild in August. Next month brings the time for the sonogram, so we may find out if it's girl number 6, or our first little boy.

There is nothing sweeter to my ears than those little voices saying, "Grandma . . ."

LIfe's Ups and Downs

2009-02-23T08:28:00.007-06:00

Sometimes I debate with myself about what to write about here. The fun, nice things are easy to write about, and other things are not appropriate for public sharing. Some bloggers write anonymously - they tell the foster care tales and other stories without hints of identification or location, and there are advantages to that freedom. Others blog directly for family and friends. Our readers are both -- and that sometimes presents problems. There are lots of things I'd like to write about relating to our experiences in foster care, but to protect our family's relationship with the agency, or to protect our children's privacy, I don't.

I wrote last fall about Teenager's medical illness, and asked for prayers. In January she received this award. In between, she experienced some emotional difficulties related to her times in her life before she joined our family. I didn't share that here, because I just didn't know what to say. One day things are wonderful, and the next, they may not be. Now, again, she is struggling with issues related to her past. I don't want to say too much, but also am not able to act as if everything is fine, because it definitely is not. Teenage years present challenges for all families, but for those who don't have the solid foundation of the early years to fall back on, it's especially challenging. Developing attachments and the feeling of security during adolescence is a difficult task for kids who've not experienced it early in their lives. Despite our training and experience, Father and I still experience the up and down emotions as well. Meeting the needs of individual family members, and the family as a whole is an ever-changing task. At the moment, teenager is not at home with us, and we're working on a plan for the future. We don't know yet what that plan will be. We love her, and she loves us. That much is certain. We know that God is in control, and if are open to His leading, He will show us a way; it is not necessary that WE have the answers. We pray for her, that He will keep her safe, and show her the way as well.

Obama fan

2009-02-20T09:33:00.008-06:00

Despite the conservative politics of this family, Granddaughter E. is an Obama fan, at least as much as you can be when you're 5. Mostly, she likes the sound of his name, and during the election, I think she would show me his picture wherever she saw it, just so she could say Barack Obama, Barack Obama, Barack Obama!

Miss E. is also learning the letters and their sounds, rhyming words and other pre-school skills. We got a big laugh the other night when she excitedly told us about two words that, according to her, start the same. We were eating Mexican food for supper, and she said, "Listen! Ba-rack Obama. Ba-rack-amole." (The green condiment made from avocados - guacamole!) I think it might be called barackamole around here from now on. What do you think our new president would think about that?

Nonlinear Waterfowl Issues

2009-02-16T08:23:00.022-06:00

Yesterday I spent the day with Whistle. It was to be a school holiday, but our school made up a snow day, instead. Instead of going to school, Whistle had an appointment for a "psych eval." This is a pre-adoption requirement by the state. We feel like we have a pretty good understanding of who he is, and what his needs are, but more information is always good. More information collected by a trusted-good-friend-psychologist-and-paid-for-by-someone-other-than-us is very good.

His report was as expected -- they think he's WONDERFUL. ;-) There will eventually be an official diagnosis, of course, but that one's close enough for me. I've always had difficulty accepting the numeric specifics of delays and disabilities. I will never forget when Hugger was very young, and I heard the words "3 months progress in 12 months." (Thankfully, I don't think they even use terminology like that any more.) I don't think I heard anything else in that meeting from then on. Those numbers were devastating to me. I am fine with kids who are delayed, and can easily work on whatever comes next in developmental order. I appreciate all the little steps of progress, enjoy the strengths each kiddo shows, and appreciate the little quirks that help up to make their fun personalities. Just don't tell me 3 months progress in 12 months. ARRRRGGG! As to Whistle's testing and interview yesterday, his verbal skills were commented on, not because he uses unusual vocabulary, or talks in perfect logical sentences, but the assessors confirmed what we've heard before. "He talks like an adult." It's hard to put a finger on the specifics - but that does describe him well. A friend of a friend just last week said "I want to meet that little guy. He's about this big, but he talks like he's 42!" We are thankful that his personality is an asset to him. He enriches our days, and his strengths may help him through some rough patches in the future.

In other news: today we attended a court hearing -- one of those that was supposed to be decision making, but instead it was set again for a later time. Apparently a few of those at the front tables had Nonlinear Waterfowl Issues (in other words - they didn't have their ducks in a row!) There will be another hearing, next month, and then the decision making sometime after that. This case is a good example of the things we tell families in foster care training often that do not match up with what they experience in real life. We try to prepare them for case specific circumstances. It's hard though, when the answer to every question a class member asks is prefaced with, "It depends . . ." That's the reality of the situation, though. We've been around foster care case management for years, but still, every single case is different, and so are workers, supervisors, juvenile offices, judges, counties, and states. And unfortunately, "12 consecutive months, or 15 out of 22 months" might seem to be very specific, but I can assure you, "It depends . . . ."

And those duck issues don't help, either.

The Doll's Special Feeding

2009-02-08T19:18:00.006-06:00

This weekend, Father and I finally got to have our "weekend away" that has been planned several times this winter. This time we actually made a reservation, and enjoyed two nights and one day in a Victorian Bed and Breakfast near us. You don't have to be far away in miles to be miles away in thought, and it was a wonderful relaxing break for us. Thanks, Father! I love you! We returned just in time for church today, and had a good day there, too, with several visitors.

When we walked in this afternoon, Father called me in to Whistle's room to see that while we were gone, granddaughter E. had been playing with her new doll, which was lying in Whistle's bed with a feeding pump bag hanging from the pole, and tubing tucked into her clothes. When we asked her about it, she said, "She has to eat, to grow and be healthy!"

Children learn what they live -- so it's a great reminder to be careful how we're living, don't you think?

100% Preventable

2009-02-03T00:16:00.017-06:00

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and related disorders are the only 100% preventable birth defects. No alcohol during pregnancy means no alcohol effect for the the baby. The alcohol affects the baby in utero, but the effect doesn't stop there, it follows the child/adult for his entire life. The following article is copied from the Fairmont Sentinel. I admire Kari for her work in this field, for sharing her expertise, and her family's daily life with the rest of us so we may benefit from her experience. I am sharing this today so that others may also learn, and may be more understanding of those who live with disabilities that may not always show, but affect every day of their lives. Many foster children, in fact many children in general, live with alcohol affected brains, and science and medicine are just beginning to catch up.

Please, if there is any possibility of pregnancy, observe 049, which means "Zero alcohol for nine months." It's the least you can do, to totally avoid the possibility of your baby's brain being damaged by alcohol, which changes his entire life.

Thank you, Kari, for all you do.

Fletcher: Disorder is preventable

Kylie Saari — Staff Writer
FAIRMONT - Ben is 11 years old. He looks like an average child; he has an average IQ. But when he gets frustrated, he becomes unable to control his rage.
"School is the most frustrating part of life right now," said his adoptive mother, Kari Fletcher. "Ben would get frustrated and flip into a rage and flip over desks and would have to be hauled to the time out room."
Ben's brain has been damaged, an irreversible side effect of his biological mother's alcohol consumption during pregnancy.
And his suffering - along with that of his family - was 100 percent preventable.
Fletcher has dedicated her life to educating people about the effects of drinking alcohol during pregnancy. She is the southern Minnesota regional resource coordinator for the Minnesota Organization on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
The Rotary Club of Fairmont is sponsoring a seminar on fetal alcohol spectrum disorders given by Fletcher Thursday at the Fairmont Opera House.
Phil Smith, a member of the Rotary Club, said Fletcher presented the information at a Rotary meeting last year.
"We thought, 'Wow! This is 100 percent preventable, so if we could get this out to as many people as (possible), that would be a good thing,'" Smith said.
Fletcher said fetal alcohol syndrome disorder is a spectrum disorder, meaning the severity of the birth defects fall on a continuum.
"Most people don't have full blown fetal alcohol syndrome, with the facial features and small bodies," Fletcher said. "Most people with fetal alcohol spectrum disorders look pretty normal, have average IQs. The problem is with the frontal lobe, the part of the brain that tells us to stop and have a second thought. It influences impulse control, lets kids plan things out and to learn something in one setting and apply it in another setting.
"This is important to surviving in our society."
According to Fletcher, the specific damage caused by prenatal exposure to alcohol depends on when during the pregnancy the mother took a drink. She said the recognizable facial disfiguration - including a flat groove above the lip, a thin upper lip and shortened eyes - seems to be most prevalent when the mother consumes alcohol during the first few weeks of pregnancy - often even before a woman knows she is pregnant.
Brain damage, low birth weight, malformed organs and miscarriage are also effects of alcohol exposure while in utero.
One of the reasons alcohol consumption during pregnancy is so damaging, Fletcher said, is because it goes directly into the baby's blood stream.
"It directly crosses the placenta," she said. "When mom drinks alcohol, the baby's blood alcohol level matches the mom's, but the mom has a mature elimination system. The baby stays 'drunk' longer and doesn't have the mature liver to process it out."
Since the alcohol stays with the fetus longer, there is more time for it to kill or alter brain cells. Fletcher said specialized cells can get rerouted and end up in the wrong part of the brain.
"The child has all the information up there sometimes, but can't access it," she said. "The brain is very vulnerable."
And this disorder doesn't just affect children.
"(People with FASD) can have trouble holding a job, have a hard time in school, and really struggle in our fast paced, abstract society," Fletcher said.
It wasn't until the 1970s that doctors identified fetal alcohol syndrome. The range of disorders on the spectrum - including partial fetal alcohol syndrome, alcohol-related neurodevelopmental disorder and fetal alcohol effects - weren't identified until later, when doctors noticed children with the behavioral and neurological effects of fetal alcohol syndrome, but without the facial features and small stature.
Fletcher pointed out that many people have recognized specific similarities in the children of alcohol-addicted mothers.
"It has been noted throughout history," she said.
"I don't believe any mom means to do this."
Because the symptoms of FASD tend to be invisible - and because of the stigma of a woman admitting to a doctor she drank during pregnancy - fetal alcohol spectrum disorders often are misdiagnosed.
Ben was first diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and autism, Fletcher said.
"The ADHD medications didn't work," she said. "With Ben it made him more aggressive."
Fletcher said that while the symptoms may seem similar between disorders, their underlying cause - and therefore how they are treated - is vastly different.
Ben was eventually diagnosed with alcohol related neurodevelopmental disorder.
Fletcher knew about his disability when he was adopted. She and her husband were Ben's foster parents. After adopting him, the family learned Ben's biological mother had another child needing a home, and the Fletchers adopted her too. Anna is 6 years old and suffers from a fetal alcohol spectrum disorder as well. The couple also have four biological children.
Despite the bleak circumstances fetal alcohol spectrum disorder children have to overcome, Fletcher stresses that this diagnosis is not a death sentence. The key is determining strategies for helping them find success.
"It's like this," she said. "I have a brain deficiency myself, and I don't know where it comes from, but I have a lack of direction. I can study a map all day and not know north. But I travel all over the state. I have to use a map drawn by my husband or Mapquest. I look at my kids and ask myself, 'What can I pull in to help them?' These kids are not lazy, willful or defiant."
For women who are pregnant and maybe had a drink before they knew it, or perhaps even after they did, Fletcher says not to panic.
"Different amounts affect different fetuses," she said. "Timing is a factor, as well as the baby's resiliency."
But if down the road the child has an attention problem, she says not to hesitate to find a doctor familiar with the disorder and have the child tested.
"Many women talk about the pregnancy police," Fletcher said. "'You can't do this, you can't do that,' but I say this isn't about what you can't do, it is about what you can do. This is a disability that you can 100 percent prevent. Wow, you have incredible power."
There are two free educational workshops to choose from during Fletcher's seminar on Thursday - one from 1-4:30 p.m., the other 6:30-9:15 p.m. Three continuing education credits are available with pre-registration and a $20 fee. The deadline for CEU registration is Wednesday. Call (507) 238-4382 to register.

SHE CAN!

2009-01-31T21:53:00.013-06:00

Teenager received an award this month: the "I CAN" CLUB AWARD OF EXCELLENCE. She was nominated by her teacher in her digital media class. He said, "Teenager does excellent work in Photoshop and is always open to learning new tools and techniques. She is always early to class and ready to learn. She demonstrates an upbeat and positive attitude. Congratulations, Teenager."

The certificate also says, "You have been recognized by your teacher and peers to receive the I CAN CLUB Award of Excellence. Even though academic standing is important and taken into consideration in determining who receives this award, candidates are also evaluated on the basis of dependability, reliability, cooperation, self-motivation, and courtesy. In addition, they must possess the ability to work to their capacity and potential, help their co-workers and serve as role models to other students.

We congratulate you for being chosen as one of those honored students to receive the I CAN CLUB Award of Excellence. We challenge you to explore your full potential in reaching for new heights through your life."

The award was presented at a breakfast hosted by the University, and each of the students received their award as their recommendation comments were read aloud. In addition to the certificate, she received a pen and pencil set, with the "I CAN CLUB" inscription.

Congratulations, Teenager. Your mom and dad are very proud of you!

25 Random Things about Me

2009-01-31T21:06:00.013-06:00

This meme has been circulating among some friends, and I thought I'd cross post my response here. Feel free to play along if you'd like to.

1. I was an AFS exchange student to Austria when I was 16.

2. I've played the piano since I was 7; and in high school band, played the tympani and the bells. When I was a senior, my best friend Elaine (now my sister-in-law) and I sat in with the fifth grade band, and learned to play the trombone. It didn't last long -- the director was patient, but when we became a distraction with our giggles . . . he wasn't that patient.

3. I've been married to Father for almost 35 years. We started dating when I was 16, and he was 18. We married a year after I graduated from high school. We thought we were grown up.

4. I joined the Primitive Baptist Church after we were engaged, and I was baptized in a small lake in Nebraska, in January. They cut 7 inches of ice for my baptism, and a 7 year old boy was also baptized that day. My first communion/foot washing service was the day after we were married a few months later. We were on our honeymoon in Colorado. My faith and belief is vitally important to me, but I'm not very talkative about it.

5. Father farmed with his dad the first two years we were married, and we farmed wheat, and raised cows/calves, and a few pigs. During a blizzard, he found a frozen new-born calf, and put it through our front window (onto our sofa), because the doors were blocked with snow. The calf lived a while on our enclosed back porch, but his legs were frozen badly, and eventually he died.

6. I can roller skate, but the ability to ice skate escaped me, no matter how hard I tried.

7. I've always wanted to be a good swimmer, but never could move efficiently through the water.

8. We've been foster parents for 30 years, and have had more than 160 kids in our home. I love foster parenting, and work with the foster parent support group, train prospective foster parents and write home studies.

9. I've been a SAHM all except 2 years, when I was a special ed teacher's aide.

10. We used to have a garden, but now go to the farmer's market when we can, instead. We also appreciate other people's abundance, and our church friends are very generous with their gardens.

11. We have 3 children by birth, 2 by adoption, and one more adoption planned in the next year or so. That will give us children from 6 to 32 years old. We have 5 granddaughters, and one more grandchild on the way.

12. Father and I both grew up in Nebraska, but there are no immediate family members left in that state. We're in Missouri, and our siblings live in Georgia, Arkansas, and Texas.

13. I like to sew, do cross stitch, and bake, but don't do much of any of them any more.

14. The sports we watch are the ones our kids are participating in. We've watched softball, tee ball, baseball (5 kids on 4 teams one summer), soccer, and 11 years of wrestling; and in Special Olympics: softball, soccer, basketball, bowling, and gymnastics.

15. I love southern gospel music! Bill Gaither and friends, Statler Brothers, Cathedrals, and all.

16. I also love singing a cappella from the hymn book with a congregation of believers, or singing with family or guests at home.

17. Our family vacation to Alaska last year was wonderful, and we'll treasure the memories forever. I wish we could travel every year! Time away from home is usually spent visiting family and attending church meetings, so there aren't any complaints with that, either.

18. I'm a procrastinator and am easily distracted, but can meet the deadlines when necessary.

19. As I've aged, my priorities have changed, and some things I used to think were important no longer seem as important.

20. I used to think only old ladies liked fresh flowers, but now I love them. Does that mean I'm old?

21. I love kids, but do not want pets, and especially not in the house!

22. I love cardinals, and birds always remind me of my mother, who loved watching the birds outside her window.

23. I love this country, and our freedom, but I wish its citizens were more God centered and family oriented.

24. I am moved to tears often by things precious to me.

25. I asked Teenager what should be included in this list, and she said "You sneeze very loudly!" My claim to fame, apparently. ;-)

The Lighter Side of The Fall

2009-01-28T10:23:00.003-06:00

There is always a lighter side of everything, and leave it to Whistle to add his perspective. When he saw my very purple bruised knee, he said, "I don't want you to go to Liz's house ever again, because you're an ooold lady -- OLD! Old people don't do that!"

We Need the Prayers of Those We Love

2009-01-26T20:16:00.044-06:00

This post is a little after-the-fact, but I want to catch up those who haven't been in touch with us personally, I want to post more often, and this is what's on my mind.

Every night Whistle prays for all his siblings, usually naming them one by one. When Liz and George announced that they were expecting, he added their new baby as well (and now has added Ben and Julie's baby-on-the-way). In the last few weeks, he's been praying for Liz to "have a safe pregnancy, and a safe baby." That is unusual wording, but proved to be prophetic. Also, one of the men in Liz and George's church had a special burden for the babies, and suggested a special prayer meeting for them. This occured on Wednesday evening: specific prayers for the new babies - 3 month old twins, one of whom has a health problem; our granddaughter Charlotte, who arrived early -- the day before the prayer meeting was scheduled; and another who was due later, but also arrived early -- the day after the special prayer meeting. Little did we know then how much we would rely on Whistle's prayers, the prayer meeting, and the prayers of many others.

Early in the morning on Friday, less than 24 hours after they'd been dismissed from the hospital, I was going to enjoy some grandma and baby time. Before we even got to the family room, I fell with Charlotte in my arm (believing I was at the floor when there was actually one more step). Although in falling I broke through the drywall with my face, Charlotte remained cradled in my arm, as we landed on the ceramic tile floor. I'm certain hitting the wall first is what protected us from hitting the floor with more force. I had no warning or even a stumble to try to protect her - it was just God's hand that kept her close to me. I have a few scrapes and bruises but was protected as well. It could have been so much worse --there was a stud close by, an outside corner of the wall a few inches away on one side, and a door jam on the other. Another landing spot would have caused many more injuries, most likely to both of us.

Although we now know that she was unscathed, the next couple of days were spent with her in the children's hospital for observation, and it was an emotionally draining time for all of us. Charlotte is "doing the things babies do," as the neurosurgeon said, and we know this is only by God's grace. We cannot express how thankful we are for God's protection of this tiny little girl as we look back over the circumstances. Liz and George were wonderfully supportive through it all, and I thank God for them and their love. The prayers of our church brethren and friends are surely what kept us all going -- even those prayers that were prayed long before her birth.

Charlotte Noelle

2009-01-21T10:25:00.004-06:00

Welcome to the world, little Miss Charlotte!
7 lbs., 7 oz, 19.5"
January 20, 2009

Pink and Green for Little Miss York

2009-01-19T22:09:00.009-06:00

Tonight we are excited! By this time tomorrow, we expect to be grandparents again - as George and Liz are expecting to have their baby girl sometime tomorrow. Liz has had some elevated blood pressure, so the doctor wants to induce her labor a few days before the due date. We have been praying for the baby and her parents, and tonight Whistle prayed what has become a standard phrase for him, "Help Liz have a safe pregnancy, and a safe baby." Soon Little Miss York will join his list of siblings and cousins that he prays for every night.

Liz had been looking for a crib set for the baby's room earlier, and when she found one they really liked -- it was a little too pricey. Isn't that how it goes? We decided we could try to duplicate it, and started looking for fabrics. The original set was paisley and stripe, but she decided on these flower prints instead of the paisleys we found. In the end - it's unique, for a special little girl. It was fun to sew again -- I don't get my machine out very often (I even take my mending and hemming to someone else). However, sewing like this is much more fun! I finished it tonight, just in time -- even though it will be a little while before she's in the crib in her room, I'm sure.

Welcome, little one, the world awaits your arrival!!

Left to right, top to bottom: crib skirt, dresser scarf, comforter, bumper pad, sheets, decorative pillows.

Whistle the Water Boy

2009-01-10T16:01:00.018-06:00

Last summer at the one-hour-a-day basketball camp for young boys, Whistle won a dribble knock-out challenge. All the boys dribbled basketballs for as long as they could, protecting their own ball while trying to knock the other boys' balls away from them. He wasn't big on hitting other boys' balls away, but was very good at keeping his own protected and bouncing.

His reward for winning was to attend a high school varsity game as water boy, and last night was his special night. He's been so excited all week he could hardly stand it. He woke up every day asking what day it was. On Thursday evening, he repeatedly told me that after school (Friday) he wasn't going to be hungry (so we could skip supper and go on to the game). Thursday night in his prayer, he prayed for his favorite player and hero, our neighbor Adam. [Side note: Adam's mom works at Whistle's school, and eats lunch with him daily because of his feeding issues. She encourages Whistle to eat so he can be strong like Adam, and in his prayer, Whistle also prayed for Adam to "eat healthy food, like pizza."]

On Friday, we realized that the evening schedule was 4 games, and Whistle's game would be late - probably 9 o'clock! For a guy who is drooping at 7 o'clock - that wasn't good news. We tried to get him to nap after school, but he was waaay too excited to even relax. We ate a quick supper, and headed up to the school, because he was certain we were going to miss the game, and we might as well be watching games as be at home being anxious about it. We saw the last half of the JV Boys game and all of the Varsity Girls game, before the Varsity Boys game. He began to get cold feet at the end of the waiting time, but when Father took him around the gym to meet the assistant coach, he was ready and willing to go to the locker room, and didn't look back.

I wondered what the pre-game was like in the locker room, since my only experience is seeing sports movies and videos (and lots of them, since they're Hugger's favorites). We saw the coach peek out to see if it was time, and then the team came running out onto the floor for their warm-up. Right behind them was Whistle - with a water bottle in his hand and a huge smile on his face, running right behind them. He got to mid-gym and stopped, looked around, and saw the assistant coach coming to get him. Oops - he was supposed to be *walking around* the gym floor with the coaches, instead of *running onto* the gym floor with the players! As to the locker room happenings, the coach later commented that "He's quite a little dancer!" and when we got home, Whistle told me that when Adam turned on the country music while they did their stretches, he danced. Some guys would stretch along with them, but not Whistle - he danced to the music!

The game itself was great - except for the final score -- they lost by 3. Whistle followed all the action, cheered, and only at first stood up for the team huddle, just in case they needed him! It was a night he will remember for a long time!

And today -- we went to Hugger's basketball game this morning, and Whistle has been napping for over 3 hours to recover from all the excitement.

Story Bits and Boxing Gloves

2009-01-05T21:15:00.028-06:00

Whistle was putting on his pajamas, but trying to talk me out of sending him to bed. He was too tired, and cried when I said he needed to go to bed because he has school tomorrow. I pointed out that when he's crying, I know that he's too tired, and needs to sleep. He said, "When I don't cry, I STILL have to go to bed! It's not FAIR!"

I was showing the kids the pictures from Caitlin's birthday party on this post. Whistle couldn't figure out why he wasn't in the picture, and pointed out that he "was bein' GOOD!" I explained that he couldn't have his picture on the blog because he wasn't adopted yet, and Granddaughter E. said, "I'm ADOPTED???" Everyone in the room laughed, which broke her heart, and she ran away crying. (She's the sensitive one among us, and easily gets her feelings hurt. A common concern from her is "He's making a mad face at me.") After a few minutes, she understood that she wasn't adopted, but I don't think she ever figured out why her comment was so funny to us.

A late Christmas gift arrived for Whistle via UPS today. A couple of days before Christmas he decided he wanted boxing gloves. He hadn't really said he wanted anything up to that point -- he was more interested in the festivities of Christmas than what he'd receive. However, the day he thought of the boxing gloves, he received a call from an aunt (birth family), and she asked him what he was asking Santa Claus for. Of course, he told her boxing gloves. She asked me if anyone was getting them for him, and when I told her I didn't know of anyone, she said she'd like to get them for him. Today, a pair of Incredible Hulk Hands arrived, and after initial hesitation because they didn't look like boxing gloves to him -- he had fun hitting my fists to try them out. They have batteries, growl, make deep-voiced comments, etc., and he liked them. He did say he wanted the kind he could punch the wall with, but when we gave him permission to try that - his huge grin, left-right-left punches, and fancy footwork were perfect! Now -- we'll see how much C. and E. appreciate them tomorrow morning!

January - New Beginnings

2009-01-03T21:25:00.016-06:00

With a title like New Beginnings, you might be expecting some seriously weighty thoughts for the new year. If so, you may stop reading now. If you expect only a modicum of newness -- stay with me.

One of the things Father and I are involved in is the county-wide foster parent support group. I carry the title of President, and he does the heavy lifting, if you know what I mean: sometimes it's figuratively, and sometimes literally. Today, we (in a very loose sense of the word WE) did some rearranging in the storage facility where we keep our "stuff" for future use. Just after Christmas, we were blessed with a large car-load of new toys that another agency couldn't use, and also with a load of other new toys and clothing from various sources. Our storage was in serious need of rearranging, because what good is it if you can't find what you need when you need it?

Father had salvaged some racks from his work a while back, and we had some boxes of donated clothing stored on them. He decided to use some formica covered boards (also salvaged from work), and placed them between the two racks to increase the storage, and keep things from being piled on the floor. Now we have a huge U shaped shelf, with one side of the U longer than the other.

It's hard to see in the picture above - but the top shelf is actually a 4'x 8' sheet of plywood supported by 2 x 4s, and the lower shelves are 26" deep.

On the right end, we have the school supplies and back-packs that we've begun to gather for our annual school supply picnic. In August, foster families come to eat and play together, and all the kids leave with new backpacks and school supplies for the upcoming school year.

I couldn't resist taking this picture of Father as he sat up high, contemplating what he was going to do next. I told him he reminded me of modeling for a photographer, and since I had a camera in hand . . . .

Next to the school supplies, we were able to pile bags and bags and boxes of the new toys on the top shelf (a lot of surface area - and full to the ceiling) and have lots of room for other things, including several boxes of clothing, and with all the new things put away -- we still have shelf space to spare!

To the uninformed reader/viewer -- this may look like mass disorganization, but I promise you - it's sorted, labeled, and ready for summer, and when it comes time to get ready for Santa next year (which for our group actually means October), we will be ready! The stored toys will be added to other toys and clothing donated through a Foster Care Giving project, and distributed in early December to foster families in the area. For many families - this is a great blessing; and for the children, a brighter Christmas for many -- some who weren't able to celebrate Christmas in their birth homes, because of the multitude of problems they had.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to Father for your help with this, and for all you do to help us support the kiddos and their families.

(Don't you think that he's cute in that modeling picture?!)

Happy Birthday, Caitlin!

2009-01-03T20:38:00.009-06:00

How could this little girl turn into such a young lady this year?

When did 8 years old become so grown-up?

We celebrated a day early with some friends.
(Sorry Whistle, you know the rules about photos.)

It seems to me she's stretching taller every day.

Her great-great-grandma was 4'10", her great-grandma 5'3",

I'm 5'8", and her mom 6'.

Does that make her at least 6'4" in a few years?

Daddy Time

Happy Birthday, Caitlin! I'm so glad to share this special day with you!

A Christmas Story - Cookies for Santa

2008-12-26T08:14:00.020-06:00

In our family, it has been traditional to "pretend Santa." When I was a child, "Santa came" while we were sleeping, left an uwrapped gift under the tree for us, and filled our stockings with an orange, candy, and a trinket. I don't remember finding out that Santa was not real - it seems like we always knew it, and just enjoyed the fun of it all. As teenagers, my siblings and I began to fill a stocking "from Santa" for our parents, also.

We've continued in the same way with our children. However, for our children with special needs, it's a "whole diff'rent ball game," as they say. Their innocent minds grasp the Santa story and hold on tight. Many clues have not swayed them, and direct statements to Hugger are directly ignored. Whistle will figure it out eventually -- he's asked questions about not having a chimney, whether or not Santa can drive, and about what reindeer eat. The jury's still out on when Hugger will come around. ;-)

So -- this is what transpired on Christmas Eve at our house.

Whistle put out a glass of milk and 3 dishes with one cookie each. One for Santa Claus, one for Mrs. Claus, and one for the reindeer, he explained. (He passed over tins of multiple varieties of homemade treats to put out his own favorite: Oreos with red cream filling.) He went to sleep in his bedroom, and Hugger was getting ready to join him.
At least once in previous years, "Santa" forgot to eat the cookies, so I drank the milk and put the cookies in the kitchen. Then I went to bed, waiting for Hugger to be asleep as well.
A little later, I got up to do the Santa duties, and found that Hugger had moved the 3 empty dishes to the kitchen, replaced them with a paper plate filled with chocolate chip cookies, refilled the milk, and had gone to sleep on the sofa.
I tiptoed around the room, moved cookies and drank milk (again), and replaced the 3 dishes from Whistle to their original spot, which was now alongside the crumb-laden plate from Hugger. On Christmas morning, they both knew their cookies were gone, and no questions were asked.

Christmas Tower

2008-12-26T07:16:00.001-06:00

Christmas '08

2008-12-26T06:56:00.007-06:00

E's handiwork

Granddaughter Ho Ho Ho Crew

America's Next Top Model?

All Christmased Out

Season of Giving

2008-12-22T22:06:00.019-06:00

Several years ago, I was the recipient of a Random Act of Kindness. At a grocery store where we sack our own groceries, the customer standing across the counter from me opened a paper grocery sack and deliberately placed it in front of me, ready for my groceries. It made me smile, and gave me a light heart for the rest of the day. What a small thing it was, but what a big difference it made for me! Now, more than ten years later, I still think of it occasionally.

This year, our family decided to make a conscious effort to reach out to others with a giving spirit. When we were together at Thanksgiving, we talked about it, with a plan to come back together at Christmas and share our giving stories. Some were random acts of kindness, others helped when or where they saw a need. In all, we felt blessed in giving, and determined to do more next year. We hope to be teaching our children more about giving, and it was a highlight of our family Christmas get-together this past weekend. One story led to another, and brought up some things we hadn't even thought about as being part of this family project. Here are some of the stories that were told when we gathered last Saturday:

While on a weekend trip, one family was talking and praying about what they could do for this giving project. Before they arrived home, they found a way to help. Seeing a woman on the ground, they stopped to help, calling 911 and contacting family members. Another need came up with the lady's family a little later, and because it was their phone that had been used, they were called when a question arose. They returned to the scene, and driving a car for the one in need, helped calm the driver, and reunited the young child involved with his mother.
One person received two gift cards as a prize from a blog, and passed them on to another as a way of Paying it Forward.
A former foster child filled the Christmas wishes of a child currently in foster care.
One saved an elderly man from sending $2000 of his savings to an unknown person in Canada, thinking it was his granddaughter in need. (It was a scam, which he found out after he was encouraged to call his granddaughter. As it turned out, she was not in Canada, but still in her home town.)
Young girls bought carousel tokens, and offered them to children in the mall, so they could ride the carousel.
One family knew (through their workplace) of a particular family in need, and anonymously gave McDonald's gift cards to each child, and a WalMart card for the parents, to help them provide Christmas gifts or Christmas dinner for their family.
One child made a hand-made Christmas gift for a child who wasn't able to be at home for Christmas.
One family anonymously gave a gift card to a recently widowed woman and her infant child.

Ben suggested we not wait until the next Christmas season -- but continue making a conscious effort to be givers, and come prepared with our giving stories every time we have a family gathering. I agree, and we'll check with the others about it, too.

I hesitated to write about this project, as most of the giving was done anonymously, but because we were inspired by another to give, we hope these stories will encourage you to look for ways to touch someone's life. Surely you have some time, some creativity, or some funds that could make a difference for someone else. You will be blessed in doing so!

He's In Trouble Now

2008-12-22T12:24:00.010-06:00

Whistle was shooting baskets in the hallway, and I heard him say, "Mom, Come here quick! Mom. Mom! Come here quick!" (Then I heard him very quietly say, "I'm in trouble, now!") I couldn't imagine what the problem was - I hadn't heard a crash or anything! When I got to him, he pointed to the thermostat, and the blue and red lights on it. He apparently thought he was responsible for the lights he hadn't noticed before -- maybe his ball hit it?

It wasn't him at all, but just the fact that our heat pump is NOT keeping up with the temperatures outside. He was glad to know it wasn't his fault this time!

Keep Your Shoes Polished!

2008-12-16T02:13:00.016-06:00

When Father was ordained to the ministry, another preacher told him to "Keep your shoes polished." Taken literally, it's a good idea, but it has another meaning as a minister of the gospel, and actually, simply as one of God's children. Keeping your shoes polished also means to be aware that people are noticing your feet -- where you go, and how you walk. We experienced a good example of that this evening.

We were shopping at the local mall department store, buying gifts for children in foster care, compliments of a group who had donated the funds. We had the wish lists of 10 teens in foster homes and residential centers, and at the time we were shopping for the clothing they had requested. We'd gathered up a stack of clothes -- special requests, specific sizes, and left them with the clerk at the counter while we continued shopping. When we returned, we discovered that all our items had disappeared - and the clerk was dismayed (as well as Father and I) to realize that while he was busy with another customer, someone else had taken our things to replace on the shelves as returns. All our effort to that point had been undone so quickly! After a brief moment of frustration, we began to re-gather the items, with the clerk's help. With the exception of two things which were apparently not returned to the places we had found them, and one we just forgot to retrieve, we were again ready to continue shopping. After we were finally finished and were checking out, the clerk asked us what church we attended. Father answered him with our church name and location. I didn't realize why he was asking, and tried to explain that we weren't doing this for the church, but for kids in foster care. He said, "Oh, that wasn't why I was asking -- it was something you said that made me ask." Father figured it out first, and laughed and said something about them losing our things, and we didn't lose our cool. I told the clerk that Father was actually the pastor at the church we attended. He and the clerk went on and visited, and the young man shared that he was a newly licensed minister, and had just preached his first sermon last Sunday. They had quite a long conversation (especially considering that the clerk was supposed to be working, and we had LOTS of shopping to do) about how the Lord leads you to know what to preach, how He prepares the congregation, and other related things. I finally left them to go to the ladies' department, and after choosing a coat for another teen, returned to find them still engrossed in conversation. We finalized that purchase, and knew we must move on. However, not before Father had shared his contact information, and (never passing up an opportunity) suggested the young man consider being a foster parent.

I thought afterward, "What if we had responded differently? Would he have recognized us as church-goin' folk? What if we'd responded in anger, and then it came up later that Father is a preacher?" There have certainly been times we have not acted as we should; what if this had been one of those times? It made me wonder how many times have we missed opportunities to share our testimonies and the truth of the gospel with others. We have a light (THE Light), and should let it shine brightly. In fact, we should remember much more often that others are watching, and we need to "keep our shoes polished!"

Tired of being sick!

2008-12-11T08:26:00.003-06:00

In the last 10 days, we've had sinus infections, strep throat, colds, and now 24 hour stomach flu. I'll be glad when EVERYONE is healthy and well. It's Christmas time, and I'd much rather be decorating, entertaining, and having fun, instead of all the things we've been doing.

As a change of pace - I'll share this wonderful Christmas arrangement with you.

Because We Speak English So Well!

2008-11-30T21:51:00.003-06:00

Tonight Sarah found this in a school backpack --

I am a pilgrmue. can you hepe use find a hosbidall quick.
is there someone that speaks more english more than you

Another Family Day to be Thankful For

2008-11-27T22:34:00.019-06:00

We're extending the holiday in both directions this year, with family visitors now and then for a full week. Last Saturday, John's sister and brother-in-law Victor and Elaine H. and their son Stephen were with us overnight and at church on Sunday, on their way westward to visit family. On Tuesday night and Wednesday, our own Liz and George were here on their way eastward to visit family. We LOVE living 15 miles from the interstate, and acting as bed and breakfast hosts, so feel free to give us a call and come by if you're traveling through!

Now, my sister and brother-in-law are here for a few days, and Ben and Julie will be in tomorrow. So -- we're putting off our turkey dinner until tomorrow. Yesterday we just relaxed and visited all day, and today, we did some cooking and baking in preparation for tomorrow. We decided to get a head start on feasting, so after our pot roast dinner, we cut into the pie. Yum!

Aunt Jeanne, Teenager and Sarah had a silly moment doing "See no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil," since they were sitting side by side on the window seat. Late this afternoon, I chuckled to see this sight in the living room:

That's Uncle Dave, with Teenager and Aunt Jeanne. Shortly after that, we had five (count 'em -- 5!) computers going in the same room.

Our Thanksgiving menu hasn't changed much from the one I grew up with -- it's just expanded, and been modified each year with special requests. We always ask what everyone's "must-have" dish is, and for some foster children, it's sometimes been pretty unusual. This year, it's pretty standard.
Turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, sweet potatoes with a hint of orange, green bean casserole, creamed pearl onions, baked cranberries, jello with apples/celery/pineapple, pickles and black olives, celery/baby carrots/green pepper strips, dinner rolls (with real butter). Then, there's Pie. With Real Whipped Cream. Pumpkin, minced meat, pecan, chocolate, and blueberry. "Aunt Marjorie" will be joining us too, and bringing her corn casserole. She probably thinks we won't have enough food. ;-)

We've been blessed beyond measure in so many ways, and we have much to be thankful. One of the most wonderful blessings is a gathering like this, of family and friends. And even after tomorrow, it isn't over yet, because Victor and Elaine will be stopping by again, on their way back home. What fun!

Tag! You're It!

2008-11-25T20:26:00.016-06:00

I've played tag before, but this is my first blog tag. Strem tagged me, and I'll play along.

1. Where is your cell phone? In my purse.
2. Your significant other? John, my husband of 34 years.
3. Your hair? No longer red - now brown.
4. Your mother? Was a great mom, and I miss her a lot. She could correct my behavior just by looking at me. To disappoint her made me feel bad, and I still try to live up to her expectations. She loved nature and birds.
5. Your father? Also gone, and I miss him, too. He would have enjoyed his great grandchildren so much.
6. Your favorite thing? Random acts of kindness.
7. Your dream last night? It was a great night of sleep, and I don't remember any dreams.
8. Your favorite drink? Diet cream soda
9. Your dream/goal? To raise my children to be competent adults who love the Lord.
10. The room you're in? Living room, with my feet up, of course.
11. Your hobby? Computer time. But I also enjoy cooking, baking, needlework, piano
12. Your fear? I can't think of any major fear right now.
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Right here, with my family.
14. What you are not? Thin.
15. Muffins? A small one, warm, with butter, please.
16. One of your wish list items? A hand can opener that works well.
17. Where you grew up? Kimball, Nebraska.
18. The last thing you did? Brewed a cup of raspberry tea.
19. What are you wearing? Blue jeans and a short sleeved blue sweater.
20. Favorite gadget? Is a computer a gadget?
21. Your pets? No pets, thankfully. Definitely no animals inside.
22. Your computer? Toshiba.
23. Your mood? Happy - it's holiday time, and we're having family visitors.
24. Missing someone? Just enjoying those that ARE here.
25. Your car? Montana mini-van.
26. Something you are not wearing? Shoes.
27. Favorite store? Target or Kohl's, or sale racks in any store.
28. Like someone? Of course!
29. Your favorite color? Green
30. When is the last time you laughed? Just a minute ago.
31. Last time you cried? A few days ago.

I will tag Liz, Karen, and Latane, if they want to play; and anyone else who'd like to play along. Leave a comment so we can check out your answers.

Have You Seen Those Kids??

2008-11-21T10:29:00.005-06:00

Yesterday, I suggested that Teenager take a walk around the city school she attends for her computer class. She looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Have you seen those kids there??"

At that moment, she was wearing jeans decorated with safety pins, and staples closing the (manufacturer's) slit up the front ankle.

I guess it's all in your perspective.

Family Day

2008-11-16T08:12:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was one of those nice family days that I appreciate. Most days are busy and full of daily obligations, so it's nice when a change of pace comes along. Father and I, along with Hugger, Teenager, Whistle, and granddaughters C. and E, drove to the bigger city to visit children and attend a baby shower for yet-to-be-named-granddaughter-due-in-January. We had a nice taco soup lunch at George and Liz's house, and a visit with Ben and Julie and girls, also. The ladies (from the very youngest A. to the oldest -- me) went to the church for a combined baby shower for Liz and another mom-to-be. While we were doing that, the guys stayed at the house doing their own thing. I think it involved talking, watching TV, and napping, not necessarily in that order. ;-) After the shower, we sat around the family room enjoying each other's company and watching the kids play.

The kids napped on the drive home, and with leftover stew for supper and an early bedtime, it was the ideal finish to a great day.

Veteran's Day 2008

2008-11-11T09:30:00.006-06:00

Today is Veteran's Day. The presidential election was just last week, and our country appears to be headed for Change, whatever that entails. No matter which direction the political winds are blowing, our servicemen and women continue to make daily sacrifices in service to our country, and they deserve our gratitude, appreciation and prayers. Thank a Vet today; and every day.

What Did He Say?

2008-11-09T20:35:00.008-06:00

Whistle was going downstairs to see if Teenager was awake, and I suggested he sing her a "good morning song." He got distracted along the way, and when I reminded him of what he was doing, he said, "Yes, I'll sing her a good-night song . . . I mean a sleepy-up song!

___________________________________________

This afternoon, as we were relaxing in the living room:

Whistle: "Mom, how old are you?"

Other Mother: "How old do you think I am?"

Whistle: "Umm . . . 21"

Other Mother: "Yes! That sounds good! But really, I'm 53."

Whistle: "53? That's old. Like a grandma."

Other Mother: But I AM a grandma!"

Whistle: "No, Old like the OTHER grandma.
The one that's dead!"

Snippets

2008-11-05T22:32:00.009-06:00

I've thought of a lot of things I wanted to write about in the last few days, but haven't done it. Also I haven't switched computers to add the pictures I want to post (broken CD drive on this computer). For now, little bits from the kiddos:

_______________________________________________

Granddaughter E, on the morning school drive: If you see a dog in a tree, let me know!

_______________________________________________

Granddaughter C, telling about voting at school: I voted for blue!
Other Mother: Blue? Was the other color red?
Granddaughter C: No, green!
Other Mother: Which candidate was blue? McCain or Obama?
Granddaughter C: I think it was McCain. No . . . Obama. Ummm. . . McCain. Or Obama. Oh, I don't remember!

As Compared to Days When I DON'T Let Him Get Up?

2008-10-28T06:54:00.006-05:00

This morning, I was awake early and drinking coffee in the living room. Whistle woke up, and called from the bedroom. "Mom? . . . Can I get up?"
I said, "Yes!"
He responded with, "Thank you, Mom, You're very nice!"

Now That's Love!

2008-10-27T20:49:00.011-05:00

C. was telling her mother today how much she loved her.

C: "I love you all the way to the moon and back."
"I love you all the way to Kansas City!"
"I love you all the way to Texas!"
"I love you all the way to the ocean!"

Sarah: "Which ocean?"

C: "The one that's far, FAR, away!"

This Week's News

2008-10-22T13:03:00.007-05:00

Teenager is not yet over her headaches. She tried returning to school, but it is too "noisy" she says. She's slow-moving around the house, and sleeps much more than she's awake. We do hope she gets over whatever this is, or the doctors find a cause, or a better treatment. 16 year-olds don't have time for this!

Whistle has lost his first tooth, and is very excited. Or at least he was, until he left it for the tooth fairy, and it disappeared overnight. How were we supposed to know that he wanted to take it to school? We are so clueless! At least disappointment doesn't last long for him, before he's off on a new adventure.

Delayed, Postponed, Rescheduled, Continued

2008-10-22T12:26:00.012-05:00

This morning, I ran across a recently-received report regarding Whistle, and it said, "Whistle is currently living with a foster family in Ourtown." My first reaction was "Huh?" How can that be, ". . . living with a foster family?" It feels like so much more than that. This little guy is utterly, positively, in every respect, one hundred percent part of this collection of people who are a FAMILY. We cannot imagine what our lives would be like, or even who we might be at this point, had he not come to be with us 5 years ago.

I'm aware that that's not the correct way to foster children, and I am fully capable of working toward the goal of reunification. It's wonderful, and truly the ultimate success, if a birth family can be made whole again in spite of the obstacles they face. However, it became obvious quite a while ago that it wasn't a realistic goal for Whistle's family. At what point did we go from him being a foster child to that unmistakable feeling that he is Ours? A part of us? An important part of the whole that is the Family? I don't know. It happened gradually, of course, but I do know that I believed in my heart it was to be even before his official goal changed to adoption. The wheels of social services often turn slowly (and even occasionally for good reason), so patience is definitely a virtue for foster parents.

Now, we are waiting for the judicial system to do its work (which is where this post's title fits in). We do believe that God is in control, and what we saw as the future much earlier, others involved now also agree. It takes time, patience, and more time, but it looks like Whistle may be ours even in the legal sense sometime next year. Whoo hoo! Yippee! And thanking God for His manifold blessings.

Ten Election Predictions

2008-10-20T20:02:00.013-05:00

NO MATTER WHO WINS THE ELECTION:

1. The Bible will still have all the answers.

2. Prayer will still work.

3. The Holy Spirit will still move.

4. God will still inhabit the praises of His people.

5. There will still be God-anointed preaching.

6. There will still be singing of praise to God.

7. God will still pour out blessings upon His people.

8. There will still be room at the Cross.

9. Jesus will still love you.

10. Jesus will still save His people.

ISN'T IT GREAT TO KNOW WHO IS STILL IN CONTROL?

(edited slightly from version in internet circulation)

Fireproof

2008-10-20T08:33:00.004-05:00

Everyone who has seen the movie Fireproof has said it is a "must-see" for Christian couples. We haven't seen it yet, but plan to. I'm writing about it today because by the time we see it, it might not be showing in your area. It has limited distribution, but is showing at one theater near us.

The synopsis of the storyline is here if you want to check it out.

Friday - Heading Home from the Hospital

2008-10-17T10:32:00.009-05:00

Miss Teenager's headache is much better following the DHE medication, and we are headed home later today. Most of the time she is pain free, with a little return in the afternoons. They are adjusting medication to help that, and it sounds like she will stay on a migraine preventative medication for a while.

As the adolescent specialist left today, he said that this is the first time he's had to use steroids for a headache, so it must have been atypical, even for a migraine. We are grateful to live near a teaching hospital, with lots of services and specialists available.

Regarding Teenager's math partner from school, she is now her hospital roommate. :-) She is going through the same steps of investigation and treatment, and hopefully she will respond to treatment soon.

Next week - we'll hope to return with more "normal" posting. Medical updates aren't much fun. I much prefer kid stories!

Wednesday Evening

2008-10-15T11:03:00.004-05:00

Miss Teenager is on the road to improvement, and we're thanking God for His mercy. Although she still struggles with nausea, she has had some periods without as much headache, and some times when she wants to eat a little. She continues on the DHE medicine for now, and it will be reevaluated tomorrow. We do see a light at the end of the tunnel today, and we are relieved and thankful.

An interesting side note is that we heard today that one of Teenager's classmates, her math partner, is also having a similar headache that has lasted two weeks. There are only 14 high school students, so it would be reasonable to think that it was the same virus that the two girls are dealing with, rather than a coincidence, since neither have had migraine type headaches before.
Today I learned that the virus diagnosis and migraine are not mutually exclusive. Apparently, it could be a virus that triggered the migraine.

Your cards, calls and prayers are appreciated.

Tuesday update

2008-10-14T21:37:00.004-05:00

God has blessed us with many prayerful and supportive friends during this time, and we are so appreciative. We've had hospital visitors, hospital companions, errand runners, phone callers, emailers and many prayer partners, and each one of you is loved. I thank my God upon each remembrance of you.

All of Teenager's lab and MRI/MRA results are in and show no signs of meningitis, tick bite diseases, or other similar (scary) diagnoses. Once again, we've returned to the possibility that it may be a migraine, even though it doesn't fit typical migraine patterns. It's too early in the IV treatment (DHE, for those pharmacetical types among us) for pain relief, but she does seem to be under less stress this evening, and we're thankful for that. If this specific treatment works, then I believe they will be more sure it is a migraine. Time will tell. It's a 3 day IV, beginning yesterday evening.

Father and I had expected to be away at training today and tomorrow, and those plans were changed, but all is well. Because we'd expected to be gone, Sarah had arranged to be off and available for her girls and Whistle, which made it much easier at home. Thanks, Sarah, and all who are pinch-hitting in my absence.

Headache Update

2008-10-12T19:20:00.005-05:00

"It's still there," as teenager quietly says. She hasn't lost her sense of humor, though, because she said, "I'm like a vampire -- I only come out in the dark." The headache is the same, but the nausea is gone, because the medication that caused it has been discontinued. The plan is to return to the hospital tomorrow, and begin a 3 day IV treatment for migraine. They also may do other diagnostic tests at the same time.

She appreciates the prayers, thoughts, and contacts, and so do we. I'll try to update here when there is news.

A Mysterious Illness

2008-10-11T11:00:00.007-05:00

Teenager is struggling with an illness that hasn't yet been diagnosed, and we'd appreciate your prayers. It started with a headache - just a typical headache, if there is such a thing. That was 12 days ago. She had a daily headache the first week, but was able to go on with her activities. Beginning last Sunday, it was worse, and an Urgent Care doctor diagnosed migraine on Monday. She didn't respond to the injection or oral medication, and saw the adolescent doctor on Wednesday. They admitted her to the hospital for a couple of days, and it doesn't look like bacterial or viral meningitis (although the lab results will eventually let us know for certain about the viral form), and not likely to be a tick-borne illness (awaiting lab results for that one, too). She's home at the moment, but if she doesn't improve over the next few days, she'll return to the hospital for a more thorough work-up. She rates her headache as 6 to 8 out of 10 (at different times), so you know she's uncomfortable. She's also having trouble with nausea with her medication, too.

Please pray with us that she will soon be relieved of this pain, and that it is not anything that will affect her on a long-term basis.

Although it doesn't appear to be the same thing -- we are reminded of 4 or 5 years ago when Hugger struggled with his head feeling "funny," and after checking him out, and waiting for it to show itself, he was found to have encephalitis. We do hope and pray this is nothing that serious.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts and prayers.

Who's Who

2008-10-05T14:37:00.013-05:00

A friend left a comment asking who C. and E. are, and I realized that it's been a while since I've identified the family, and new readers might not know all the players of the Game of Life that goes on at this house. There is now a link to this post at the left if you get confused. I do, so maybe you do, too.

Father: He is the man of the house; a wonderful guy who strives to serve God, his family, his church family and the community, in every way he can. Besides parenting this family, he pastors a Primitive Baptist Church, and works during the week at a community job. He's my best friend.

Other Mother: That would be me, an over 50 mom of 3 kids by birth, 2 kids by adoption (with one on the way), and Other Mother to 160 or more foster kids along the way. I'm a stay-at-home mom who seems to spend a lot of time in the car and elsewhere. Besides parenting, I train new foster parents, write home studies, and other support activities for foster families. I was a room mother for 19 years, and thought I'd retired from that duty when Hugger finished grade school. However, I've still been hanging around school, and with a kindergartner just starting -- it looks like I'll be there for a few more years (if 13 or more is a few), although I'm no longer the Head Room Mother. Enough is enough.

Sarah: Our oldest child, mother of C. and E., who has recently come home again for a while, following her divorce. Her ex is Mike, who still visits in our home spending time with the girls.

Hugger: Child #4, first adopted child, who joined our family at 5 weeks of age, 23 years ago. He's called Hugger because he hugs. Fervently. And Often. He has Down Syndrome, and lives in a supported living apartment about 20 miles from us.

Teenager: Child #5, who joined our family almost 6 years ago, and became a permanent family member 3 years ago. She attends a Christian school, plays the piano, and works as a companion to an elderly church friend on occasion. She has 2 birth siblings with whom she's still in contact.

Whistle: Legally a foster child, but he's permanently in our hearts. His case is moving toward permanency with our family, and we will adopt at the appropriate time. He's been with us since he was a tiny, frail and fragile 1 year old. At 6 years old, he's still small, but far from frail and fragile. He has medical and cognitive difficulties from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, but may be headed to a job with the Harlem Globetrotters with his basketball skills. He also has several birth siblings in his circle of friends.

The others: Children #2 and 3 and their spouses; Ben and Julie, and Liz and George. H. and A. are Ben and Julie's young daughters, and Liz and George are having their first baby in January (a girl, of course!). In this case . . . And one more makes . . . 5 granddaughters! Yippee! These kids all live about 2 1/2 hours away in the larger city. I could write about where they work and all that, but if you know them, you know what they do; and if you don't know them, I'm sure you don't care. Just trust me. They're all -- from the oldest to the youngest -- great people. Just ask me. I'll tell you about them. And did I tell you about my 5 granddaughters?

That's it at the moment. Because of our specialty foster care license, we are limited to 4 children at home, and the agency is counting our granddaughters, even though their mother is here as well. So - we're taking a break from considering additional kiddos right now.

Sad News

2008-10-04T21:30:00.006-05:00

Yesterday, C. and E.'s dad was here spending time with them. He'd been to a soccer game, played at home with them, and was on his way to a field trip. He was interrupted by a call from his brother, saying that his father was being taken to the hospital. Mike's father has been dealing with Parkinson's disease, and although able to stay at home, has needed much support from his wife and sons. Yesterday morning, he apparently suffered an aneurysm, and died later in the morning.

The family would appreciate your prayers during this difficult time.

Family Update

2008-10-04T21:27:00.012-05:00

It's time for a family update. Everyone's been busy doing their own thing, and some days we're juggling who goes where with which child to get everything covered.

Father and Hugger have gone on a trip to Texas and Mexico. Tonight they have met up with long-time friends, and are delivering a load of goods to them to help in their work with the Mexican people. I'm sure they'll have many tales to tell after their return. I'm so anxious to hear all the details! Later in the week, they'll visit Father's father ("Big Papa") and other relatives.

Teenager received a surprise letter this week, stating that she's won an award through her vocational school classes. It says she was selected by classmates and/or the instructor, and it is "given to students who have demonstrated outstanding cooperation, self-motivation, preparedness, positive attitude, dependatbility, and persistence." She will be honored at a breakfast at the University. We're so proud of you, Teenager!!

Whistle is having a great year at school. Many people have mentioned how hard he's working, and all reports have been good. I went with his class this week to Peach Tree Farm - my favorite field trip ever. In comparison to last year, I see how independent he's become, and how well he fits in with his classmates. You can check out the details from last year's visit here. (This link is to the first of several posts with pictures of our fun time. Click on "newer post" at the bottom to move to the next post.) Last night he went with Sarah and C. to the city blues music festival. He had a good time, and told me he saw "20 or 21 bands, but they didn't have drums, and they didn't stand in lines." "There wasn't a parade. This was a sit-down band." Then he asked if I "heard the music all the way to our house?" I told him I didn't, but he thought I might, because, "It was loud!" His perspective on events is always fun. Whistle and C. are playing soccer, and both made at least one goal today.

C. loves her new school (since they're now living with us), and her teacher had wonderful things to say about her ability to work together with others in groups.

That leaves just Sarah and E. to report on. Sarah works daily at the super center, and E. is my companion at home and elsewhere, whenever possible. She especially loves to help cook in the kitchen. S'pose I could train her to take over?

It's Fall Y'All!

2008-09-25T12:30:00.009-05:00

I recently read a blog that listed 20 things I Love About Fall. As I mentally made my own list, it began to seem familiar. I looked in the archives, and sure enough, last year at this time I wrote Why I Love Fall. So, in the interest of time, similar feelings and full disclosure, here is last year's list, with the addition of even more things I love about fall. What do you love about fall?

1. Sleeping in the fresh night air, with windows open after weeks of air conditioning.
2. Pumpkins, butternut squash, acorn squash, and gourds.
3. High school football.
4. Watching the tree near our old house, which changes colors from the tips of the branches to the center, making it look like fireworks in the sky, with balls of fire at the tips.
5. Marching bands.
6. Youth soccer on cool Saturday mornings.
7. Planting mums in front of the church sign.
8. Needing a jacket on the way to school in the mornings, and shedding it before the morning is over.
9. Apple pie, apple crisp, apples with caramel, sliced apples . . . .
10. Corn mazes (I haven't through one yet, but this may be the year.)
11. Fall yard decorations: bales of straw; mums; pumpkins, winter squash, gourds; and scarecrows, and more mums.
12. Walking in the yard, with leaves crunching under my feet.
13. Bobbing for apples.
14. Raking up a big pile of leaves, for the sole purpose of playing with Whistle, Teenager, C. and E. in them.
15. Football stew. (A favorite from our childhood - an oven baked stew.)
16. Bonfires: Wood, matches, hot dogs, marshmallows, and song.
17. Pumpkin pie, with real whipped cream.
18. Horses made from cornstalks.
19. Straw bale maze at the Fall Fest.
20. The Hartsburg Pumpkin Festival

Visit with the Dentist

2008-09-17T10:55:00.011-05:00

When Whistle came to us he was totally orally defensive and wouldn't let anyone near his mouth -- with or without tools in their hands. He has gradually gotten over that, although he still has problems with foods and eating. Obviously, a visit to the dentist's office is not his favorite way to start the day, but that was our plan for today. One of our first visits to the dentist consisted of counting his teeth. During a recent visit, the dental tech said, "We cleaned 4 teeth today!" Today the report was that all his teeth were polished, "LIGHTLY polished," she said. Big progress! For him, the big news was that two front teeth are loosening; "Right on schedule," according to the dentist. Whistle was very excited, and talked about the tooth fairy visiting, then told the school secretary about it when he checked in at school.

Speaking of the tooth fairy, granddaughter E. told us a story the other day. She wanted to color a picture and put it under her pillow for the Picture Fairy. According to E., the Picture Fairy doesn't exchange money for pictures like the tooth fairy, but she does love pictures.

Another thing E. likes is birthdays. She enjoyed her birthday last month, and had us all "sign up" for her birthday party (writing our names on a piece of paper). Yesterday, she had another paper, and we were signing up for Holly's birthday. Holly is her favorite bear. When I told her mother later that we were having Holly's birthday, she said, "Holly is getting old fast, this is her 3rd birthday since she got her!" (in the spring). What a girl. What an imagination.

The Teacher Said So

2008-09-04T09:35:00.004-05:00

Whistle came home from school and announced, "We need a babysitter! Like Amy." It sounded like an instruction from school, but didn't fit quite right.

"A babysitter?"

"Yes - we need a babysitter. Like Amy." (His occasional sitter whom he loves, because she actively plays sports with him all evening.)

I was still confused, and asked if he had a note about it, he thought a second, and said "YES!" and went after his backpack.

Just a Reminder
Kindergarten Curriculum Meeting
Thursday, Sept 4, 2008
6-7 p.m.
Hope to see you there!

Child care will not be provided.

He may not get ALL the facts (or the MAIN fact, even), but he gets something!!

Whistle Tells About the Special School Visitor

2008-08-27T16:51:00.004-05:00

Early this morning the house was quiet, and Whistle and I were in the living room. He was talking to himself . . .

Whistle: "Super the hero? Super the hero?? Super . . . ?

Zero! ZERO! ZERO the HERO!"

Other Mother: "Zero the hero?"

Whistle: "Yes - Zero the Hero came to our class." (Then he told me something else that happened but I didn't quite get that part) "Then Mrs. Experiencedteacher said, "Well look who's here!" And it was Zero the Hero coming in the door."

Me: "Did he have a costume on?"

Whistle: "He had hair . . . (as his hand swept in a wide arc). It was all colors. And gloves. Gloves with numbers on them. And if he takes his clothes off, it's not Zero the Hero, it's the PRINCIPAL!"

School is Off to a Great Start

2008-08-21T08:42:00.007-05:00

The Alaska photos haven't been blogged yet because of some major computer issues, but at least I could stay in touch otherwise, couldn't I ?!

Whistle has begun his school year, a second year in kindergarten to help him be more prepared for reading and math in first grade. He's been in school a week, and so far -- it looks great! Yesterday he knew all the letters of the alphabet, and if those letter names "stick" he will move on to their sounds. Unfortunately, for kids with FAS, their ability to recall what they know is sporadic. Some days it's there, and some days it isn't. One of the funniest examples of this is the day he wanted to talk about a sheep, and struggled to get the name of the animal. He ended up calling it a chicken. ;-)

Yesterday he also got his first Super Eagle ticket, a special recognition of being caught doing something well. He said he was waiting patiently -- sitting still in line waiting to be picked up after class. You know what a challenge that is for him! Each Friday the principal draws tickets from the Super Eagle ticket box and awards gifts to those chosen. Whistle's on a new dose of medication - looking for something to help calm his brain so he can focus more easily, another thing that causes learning challenges for him. Even in an empty room working one on one, he is easily distracted, just by his own thoughts. Possibly we are seeing some effect from the med.

Our two little guys, Joe and Andy, have left to return to their parents, and we wish them well. We miss them! Time brings changes though, especially in foster care, and this is the best kind of change -- the positive result of kids returning home.

Now -- we have Sarah and C. and E. at home with us, so we won't be having any additional foster children for a while. C. has begun her second grade school year at Whistle's school, and they are excited to go to school together. It took a few days before they crossed paths during the school day, and they were really excited to see each other! This morning they were both wishing they could stay home with E., though. I'm sure E. would tell them hanging out with Grandma is not all fun and games - we still get to do laundry, cleaning, and other household stuff!

As for teenager, she's returned to the Christian school she attended last year. This year she has the added benefit of attending the county-wide Career Center, a high-tech vocational school with lots of educational options. She's taking a digital media class, and a marketing class there. We'll be getting up at 5:30 to get everyone where they need to be on time - today we were ready to leave 8 minutes early!

With the foster care support group, we had a great school supply picnic, and more than enough supplies. It's fun to see the kiddos so excited choosing their backpacks and packing their supplies.

Mmm, Mmm, Good

2008-07-10T21:29:00.005-05:00

Today, Whistle and I went to a local blueberry place (is it called a farm? a patch? an orchard?) and picked blueberries. Usually they are ready much earlier than they were this year, and the season has lasted longer than usual, also. I think picking in mid-July is pretty rare here. If you haven't picked blueberries - I'd recommend you find a place to do it -- it's so much fun! It's easy to see which ones are ready to be picked, and they roll right into your palm with a little nudge. No thorns, no mess, just a fun way to spend some time with the kids, and get dessert at the same time!

I can't say that Whistle enjoyed it as much as I did, but he did get a few berries into his bucket before he got distracted. After that, he sat on the ground and sang, looked at what other people around us were doing, and kept checking to see if it was time to go to swimming lessons. In other years, I've been accompanied by Sarah, Hugger, or foster children, and it's always a great experience.

We were blessed with blueberries for the freezer a few weeks ago from the foster care food pantry, but I just couldn't resist a few more to eat fresh. A bowl of blueberries, a little milk or 1/2 and 1/2 (or ice cream) over the top -- it doesn't get much better as far as I'm concerned.

One more note about Whistle's swimming lessons. This is the first year he's been tall enough to be in the "big pool," and once he realized he could touch the bottom and still "breave," he was ready to go. He missed the first day while we took Hugger to camp, but caught up quickly the second day. He tried jumping in from the side, and after two times, wanted to jump in without assistance. He did report later that once he went "way, way, WAY under," but still was very proud and excited. He's also jumping off the board into the instructor's arms, so of course that's fun, too. He's half finished -- 4 more days next week, and although he won't be doing rhythmic breathing when he's finished with this session, he will have gained a lot of confidence in the water, and that's the first step.

This post is dedicated to my friend (you know who you are) who is nagging me about not posting to the blog. Here's to you, my dear! Also - stay tuned for Alaska photos!

Life with the Ferrells

2008-05-13T10:24:00.002-05:00

If you have not already caught up with them, please go read Life With the Ferrels and pray with us for their family. God has promised to be with us through all our trials, and we pray for His mercy and loving arms to surround them every hour of every day.

Thanks.

Whistle's Feeding Team

2008-05-11T21:19:00.020-05:00

Warning - if you have a dislike for details regarding food, reflux, puking, gastrostomy tubes and such, skip this post. If bits of medical information fascinate you, read on.

As I mentioned a couple of days ago, Whistle has had a few appointments with a feeding team at a children's hospital in the bigger city. The feeding team is a trio of specialists: a dietician, a psychologist, and a speech therapist, in connection with a GI doctor. (We've been told that occupational therapists handle the part of feeding to the mouth, and speech therapists take over with the mouth, chewing, swallowing and such. Also FYI - for some kiddos, if you miss the 'window of opportunity' for the transition from nursing to oral feeding, sometimes kids develop texture and taste sensitivities, and have psychological reactions to the sight or thought of food. Then, even though there's no physical reason they can't swallow, there are many other factors that come in to play, and eating is a struggle for a lot of reasons.) For Whistle, reflux has always been a major stumbling block. When he came to us at 14 months old (and only 10 lbs, 6 oz), he was being g tube fed 24 hours/day, with a very specialized formula. It seemed like the formula came up as fast as we pumped it into him. (His weight would verify that - one of our newborns was almost the same size. I won't say whom, in order to protect her identity, since she's a blogger). He had a Nissen fundoplication surgery to stop the vomiting, and from then on he was able to keep his food down better, and we switched to Pediasure (think Ensure for toddlers). From that point on, he began to grow. He did continue to have some retching and vomiting, though, and he began to connect the feelings in his stomach with pain, and food became a negative thing for him. He was tube feeding overnight, and had problems almost every morning between 4 and 8, when his stomach was the most full. It was not fun. We tried new formulas, new rates of feeding, and other tricks of the trade, but never could find the right combination. He'd eat a bite or two of spicy or crunchy food, but that was it. Last fall, he went back to eating nothing at all by mouth, and his stomach hurt much of the time.

We heard about this feeding team, and decided to make an appointment with the GI doc who works with them - the first step. For no good reason, it took months and months to get beyond the doctor and in to see the team. In the meantime, we discovered that he did better with a specific formula that is more concentrated that Pediasure (Resource Just For Kids), and when we switched to Resource Just for Kids without fiber, it was wonderful!!! The pain gradually went away, and we saw his appetite returning. Then we were ready to see the team, and hopeful that they could help us over the next hurdle.

Once we actually saw them, they set right to work! Before the first appointment, our local speech/feeding therapist helped us record Whistle's history: what we've tried, what worked, what didn't, and questions from her and from us. She went over all that information with one of the team members by phone, then faxed it. When we arrived, they were well-prepared. They talked to Father and I, and then watched Whistle eat from a hidden viewing room. They said they had no expectations, just wanted to know what a meal looked like for him, so we pretended like they weren't watching (you know how easy that was!). When we left, we had a plan! We were already doing many of the daily things they suggest, but some are new, and some we needed to be more faithful with. One change is to move some of the g tube feedings to meal times to help his feeling of fullness. The most valuable thing they are offering is their expertise on the balance between cutting back on the formula and continuing to grow, plus instructions on how to help him discover the normal feelings of hunger and fullness, and what they mean. We had not seen anyone before who was comfortable with cutting back his nutritional formula, but this group has experience with feeding challenges, and monitors it closely. All things have come together at the right time, and we're seeing successes!

We're not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but we at least are going forward down the track, and up to this point it's been 2 steps forward and one step back, so we're encouraged.

Quick Month!

2008-05-10T17:03:00.018-05:00

Last post: April 10th.
Today: May 10th.
We're still here.
This is what we've been doing:

--- Whistle played and the family watched practices and soccer games. (More were rescheduled because of rain than were actually played.)

--- I made two home visits and am writing the home-study for a prospective adoptive family. (Drove 480 miles)

--- Joe got his cast off in the big city. He's walking pretty well. (Drove 280 miles)

--- Hugger celebrated his 23rd birthday at home, at work, at Ben's, at church, and any place else he could think of.

--- Teenager and Hugger attended a surprise 30th birthday party for big brother Ben. George had a birthday the same week, but missed all the celebrations because he was working out of state. Poor George.

--- Father preached at a 3 day church meeting at another church, and we enjoyed visiting with the pastor's family; old friends we hadn't seen in a long time (Drove 250 miles)

--- 4 speech/feeding therapy appointments for Whistle (Drove 125 miles)

--- 1 family visit for Joe and Andy; sibling visits, and phone calls, too. (Drove 100 miles)

--- 3 counseling appointments

--- 3 feeding team appointments for Whistle in bigger city (Drove 425 miles)

--- 4 piano lessons for Teenager, 1 rehearsal, 1 recital

--- 8 or 10 evenings for Teenager working as a companion to senior citizen friend

--- Hosted 3 day church meeting at our home church, with guests at home and serving meals at church; 3 regular Sunday services and 4 Bible studies.

--- Teenager volunteered at the food pantry, and helped a friend's mother with 2 catering events. The same friend spent the night once, and accompanied us to bigger city twice.

--- I attended training on social services agency policies and procedures.

--- Whistle invited big sister Sarah and nieces C. and E. to school for lunch on "Special Friends Day" (also known as Grandparents Day, for those who have grandparents close enough to attend)

--- I'm helping to prepare Foster Care Month celebration in front of the court house later in the month.

--- Teenager finished her school work a week early, took this week off, and will return next week for field trips, awards night, and graduation of the seniors.

--- I attended the annual planning meeting for Hugger with the agency who sponsors his program.

--- And the pre-IEP meeting for Whistle.

--- I attended Muffins with Mom with C. at her elementary school (Grandmas are invited, too)

--- 2 occupational therapy visits for Whistle (2 canceled because of conflicts)

--- Teenager celebrated her 16th birthday.

--- Andy got his cast off, too. He's not walking yet, but last night began standing on his foot, at least. He also got special sandals that hook to a brace for sleeping (Drove 280 miles)

--- Attended funeral for close family friend. She was a 38 year old mother of 8 children, who valiantly fought cancer. (Drove 1400 miles)

--- Home visits by caseworkers, hundreds of emails, phone calls, etc.

--- Whistle performed in Spring Concert with songs about the ocean.

--- Father went to work every day, and worked on the new garage and did spring yard work when he was home and not busy with parenting (sometimes known as "kid duties"). (Drove 32 miles every day, and then some)

--- Joe fell against a metal bench at the soccer game this morning, popped the skin on his forehead, and we made a quick trip to the doctor. No stitches, just steri-strips. He got a big yellow band-aid over the whole thing, because Band-Aids are what's important when you're 3 years old.

--- We missed the Kindergarten Reading/Writing Celebration, because some days we just can't get it all together, and we forgot to go.

--- And we skipped the school carnival, because sometimes it's just better to be at home for a change.

That's why I haven't been blogging.

And if the price of gas is still going up because demand is down, it obviously isn't our fault. We're buying more than our share.

Riding with Joe in the Van

2008-04-10T10:06:00.008-05:00

Joe: "Mom, where you goin'? You goin' to Whistle's school? Then where you goin'? Then where you goin'? Who's goin' first? Why you slowin' down? Why you stopping? Mom, look at my apple. Mom, look at my apple. Mom, look at my apple up here. Now look at my apple. Why you turning? Why he doin' that? What's he doin'? Why you goin' too fast? You tryin' to get a license? Why you goin' fast? Why you slowin' down? Why you stoppin'? Why you turnin'? Who lives there? Who works there? Who lives there? What's that water doin'? What's that water doin' on the road? Why you stoppin? Why you turning around? Where you goin' mom? Why we goin' there? What's that car doin'? Why? Why we goin' here?"

Teenager: "Can you quit talking?"
Joe: "Yes."

(10 seconds later)
Joe: "Where you goin' mom? Why you turnin'?"

Two Unrelated Ideas

2008-04-04T12:56:00.008-05:00

There hasn't been much that's newsworthy, so I'll share these with you today:
Last night when I was making the boys' favorite supper (pancakes, sausage and eggs), Whistle picked up an egg from the carton, and solemnly told Joe, "If this egg wasn't dead, it might have a chicken in it!"

And a good thought for today:

One should take children's philosophy to heart. They never despise a bubble because it burst; they immediately set to work to blow another one.

Happy Easter

2008-03-24T00:31:00.011-05:00

Like most others we know, we've been dyeing/hiding/hunting eggs the last few days. Joe and Andy learned about Easter traditions at their pre-school with dyeing and an Easter egg hunt, Whistle dyed eggs at his school, and yesterday we had an egg hunt in the park with some of Whistle's birth siblings. Two of his sisters are 6 and 8, and one brother about 10. We met their foster families at a park, and Teenager helped others hide eggs for the younger ones to find. (One mom remarked that it sure took a LOT longer to hide them, than it did to find them!) Joe had the disadvantage of having me pushing his wheelchair during the egg hunt. I headed in the wrong direction, so even though there were two of us, his basket wasn't very full in the end. I kept thinking we'd find some soon, heading for the next tree, but unfortunately I didn't look behind us, to see that ALL the others had gone to the left when we went to the right. Bad decision on my part. Poor Joe. He was happy with his finds, though, and I was proud of him for not noticing or counting.

I found out something new about Joe, too. He doesn't like chocolate. Can you imagine? Being the chocolate and nut fiend that I am, I just don't get that. He was happy to share his chocolate with others, and they all had non-chocolate candy, gum, and nickels and dimes as well. Afterwards some of the older kids tossed a football around, and the younger examined and traded their treats. We enjoyed being out in the sunshine, even though it felt good to wear our jackets. After several rainy days this week, it was a nice day to be out. Unfortunately, Andy wasn't able to come along, as he has a stomach virus.

That same bug kept he and Joe and I home from church today (Andy was the only ailing one), and we had a quiet day, with Andy taking several naps on my lap. This evening he perked up some and played a little with the others, and now it looks like Whistle is the next to come down with what appears to be quite a contagious bug. Our big accomplishment for this Easter Sunday was to send our dinner with the others to church, and watch a re-run Lawrence Welk Easter show on television. The big hit for the day was the sunglasses the boys received in their plastic pail/Easter baskets, and they wore them to church, to visit at the hospital, or just held them in their hands while they slept, depending on who and when it was.

Hopefully, this little bug the boys have won't last long, as all three boys have medical appointments this week that we don't want to miss.

For the kids here, it's Happy Spring Break week, also!

Update: On Monday morning, I met some of Joe's birth family, and was told he LOVES chocolate, and will gorge himself on it! Since he's totally refused to eat a bite of it this week , I wonder if he overdid it and now can't handle the thought of it. Hmmm . . . .

Update on the Boys

2008-03-17T21:04:00.004-05:00

Our two newest residents are settling in, and we're having a good time together. Actually I should say they're having a good time with Whistle. The boys are fast friends, and love playing (actively, loudly) together.

I'm going to call the older of the two boys "Joe," because he looks like a certain Joe did when that Joe was much younger. His younger brother will be called "Andy." Last night the boys were playing horse. Not basketball horse, but ride-on-each-others'-backs horse. They tried different combinations of horse and rider, but settled on the fact that Whistle was strongest, and thus the best horse. After school today they were yelling, calling, directing each other in their play, and it was l-o-u-d loud. It didn't seem to matter than I reminded them over and over to hold it down - this was horse they were playing, and that horse was wild! They were so excited to be back together after each spent the day at their respective schools.

Andy is now able to walk on his cast, and Joe does a great job of scooting around on his hands and one knee, dragging his cast, and pushing with it occasionally when he's really in a hurry (and he thinks I'm not looking). Since we haven't seen these guys without leg casts which slow them down, I wonder what it will be like when they can actually run?

Also, considering the number of trucks, cars, blocks and toys on the floor, and the noise level, I wonder how long it will be before we can all get outside to play? It's raining today and tomorrow, but maybe sunny spring will be here soon.

Dental Check-up

2008-03-17T11:44:00.007-05:00

Teenager and Whistle had dental check-ups and cleanings today. We drive past his school whenever we leave home, and Whistle was worried about the cars arriving at school, and missing out. On the way to the dental office, Whistle was showing his trepidation, and started counting his teeth (so the dentist wouldn't have to)! He announced that he had 5 teeth. The waiting room time was very long for him, and he got nervous enough to try to adjust the window blinds, among other things. As for his 5 teeth, the hygienist told him he probably had twice that many, and when she counted, she came up with 20. Imagine that!

Because of his feeding issues and oral defensiveness, this office is not one of favorite places to visit, but he did come home with 4 teeth cleaned this time, and that's 4 more than the last visit. He got to choose a toy from the treasure chest -- anyone who knows him will know what he chose. A small 'superball.' He announced afterward that he'd been "very bwave."

Teenager got a clean bill of health and they each got a new toothbrush, too. All in all, a successful morning.

Makin' It from Scratch

2008-03-15T21:59:00.003-05:00

This is a great article on the connections that having a family brings us. It's worth your time to read it. From Scratch

Speaking of Runts

2008-03-13T14:56:00.009-05:00

A fostering-family-friend of ours called today to tell me a story. They have two new lap dogs, and one is the runt of the litter. After explaining to her daughter what being the runt of the litter meant, her daughter said, "Remember that runt that we used to take care of?"

Her mother asked about a different puppy, but that was not what she had in mind. She said, "No mom - he's a human runt. He lives with Teenager now. He's all grown up now. Not grown up like tall, but grown up on the inside, in his head."

Since a runt needs extra care and attention, she figured that Whistle must be a runt, too! :-) He lived with them for a month before he came to us, and we will be forever greatful for this mom's call when she said, "I think you need to meet this boy."

Yeah, What she said!

2008-03-11T23:35:00.020-05:00

Because Kari said it so well, please go read her thoughts here.

Our homestretch is a long time away. We may never see an empty nest, but I don't regret the choices we've made. One day at a time, one blessing (and trial) at a time, God has provided, and He has promised to continue to do so. I have no fear of the future. Last night I was lying in bed thinking of the last lines of an old Sunday School chorus we used to sing, "For if the Father's eye is on the sparrow, then surely he will care for you. He knoweth, and careth, each burden, he beareth. For if the Father's eye is on the sparrow, then surely he will care for you."

That led my thoughts to a hymn that we sing in our church services now, which also has a line about God caring for the sparrow. You can read and listen to it here: His Eye is on the Sparrow.

Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29, 31

The sparrows. The children. And us. Fear ye not.

Twins?

2008-03-09T21:08:00.008-05:00

At first glance, people have thought our two new boys are twins, but they are actually a year apart; two and three. They don't even have the same color hair, but are close in size, if you're not looking closely. However - some things are twin: sweatshirts, toe-to-hip leg casts (one right, one left), and wheelchairs! We knew they had casts before they came, and knew they were due to have new ones (which called for anesthetic) the day after they arrived. What we didn't know was that one was having actual surgery on his foot, and the other a more minor procedure. Thus, the unexpected wheelchairs, and restrictions on weight bearing for both boys; one for 6 weeks, the other a shorter time.

In training, I tell prospective foster parents that a good motto is "Be Flexible." This week it's being put into practice at this house! We're doing okay, one day at a time; both the boys and the foster family. Adjusting to each other, healing from the procedures, and today things are actually much better, because during the two days at the hospital with them, I came down with a case of the stomach flu. Bad. News. Feeling better now. So far, no one else shows signs of it except Whistle, who probably gave it to me in the first place.

Teeny Tiny Food

2008-03-05T10:43:00.002-06:00

Our granddaughter E., 4 years old, woke her mother at 3 o'clock in the morning on Monday, excitedly asking if she could eat that teeny tiny food now. Of course Mom was confused, and had her repeat it. Huh? Teeny tiny food? She said, "I'm baptized now, so can I eat that teeny tiny food?"

You see, she was baptized on Sunday (which we are truly thankful for, and do not take lightly), and realized she now could take part in the communion service. It is so funny how kids interpret the world around them! I guess it's time for discussion on the symbolism of the communion service, next.

And two more make . . .

2008-03-05T10:31:00.002-06:00

We've had an emergency placement for the last few days, a 12 year old boy who was waiting for a specific home to open up. It went well, as far as we know - but we hardly got to know him. It's so different having kids who aren't going to be staying -- I really don't want to start asking them questions and stirring up things within them. They have so many people in their lives already, I don't want to be one more person who thinks they have all the answers for a child they don't know enough about. I'm trying to make them comfortable and feel welcome, but I wonder . . . when I hold back, do they really feel like we care, or does that make them feel like we're "just a place with a bed" to them? Hmmmm. . . . will think on that for a while.

In other news (as they say), we are awaiting the arrival of two new preschoolers this afternoon. More to come on that later, I'm sure!

Old Friend - New Blogger

2008-03-05T10:21:00.002-06:00

Not a friend who is old -- a friendship that has developed over time. I'd like to introduce you to my friend, K. She and her husband are active foster parents, and some of the best friends a family could ever have. From the outside looking in at foster families, things sometimes seem different than they are when working within the family, and within the system. Having good friends like them to share our lives with makes our days richer and fuller.

I love this gal, and I want to welcome her to the blogging community.

K: These flowers are for you. :-)

You can visit her HERE. Please say hello, and tell her Other Mother told you to stop by and see if she could come out to play.

Young Singers

2008-03-05T09:50:00.003-06:00

Check out this video of The Cactus Cuties, 5 girls ages 8 to 13, singing the National Anthem.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKCVS57j284

Amazing voices.

Three Questions

2008-02-06T16:25:00.000-06:00

As he's shooting baskets in the hallway . . .
Whistle: Mom? what's "foul"?
Mom: Breaking the rules, like bumping another player.

2 Minutes later, falling on the floor while shooting baskets . . .
Whistle: What's fashul?
Mom: What?
Whistle: What's frashul?
Mom: Oh, fragile? Breakable.
Teenager: (while practicing the piano in the same room) You're not fragile, you're tough!!

1 minute later, still shooting baskets . . .
Whistle: Mom? What's macarena?
Mom: A dance
Teenager: Like this! (quits practicing to demonstrate the macarena)

1 minute later, still playing basketball. . .
Whistle: (Clapping, cheering) Whoohoo! Miss-ouri . . . TIGERS!!
Teenager: (practicing the piano) Thank-you, thank-you!
Whistle: I'm not clapping for YOU. I'm clapping for my teammates!

Only two kids, and still, never a dull moment.

2008-02-04T18:14:00.000-06:00

Whistle: "Today, we Jumped Rope for Heart, and I tried it, and I messed up. And Coach Tree made it shorter for me, and then I did it, and I did it, and I DID IT, and I DID IT WITHOUT ANY HELP!"

"I just kind of messed up."

This Month's Verse

2008-02-04T09:43:00.000-06:00

The verse for the Company Girls (see button on the left) this month is, "Blessed is the man whose strength is in thee; in whose heart are the ways of them." Psalm 84:5

Evil, Wicked and Evil

2008-02-01T22:21:00.000-06:00

New York Times Story

There are few things that render me speechless, but this story made me so heartsick, tears are rolling down my face, and I can't find words to express how unbelievably horrible this is.

Edited to add: I knew I couldn't write effectively on this subject, but I knew Barbara could. Read her take on this here: Barbara's blog post.

It's Coming . . . It's Getting Closer!

2008-01-30T08:56:00.000-06:00

We heard yesterday that Whistle's case is moving forward. Apparently there are some new people involved who think this has dragged on too long. Some of us would agree with that! ;-) A late February date has been set for having certain information to the court, and that's the first step - or at least next step - the first legal step toward making Whistle a permanent part of our family. He feels so much like one of us, I hesitate when people ask me how many kids we have. It's 5, legally, then there's Whistle, and then there are often foster kiddos who will not be staying long term. It just depends on how you count. Birth certificates -- or heartstrings.

We are so blessed!

But he just wanted to hear it

2008-01-30T08:52:00.000-06:00

This morning, after dressing for school.

Whistle: Mom, you can 'pologize for getting lotion in my eye.
Other Mother: Yes, I'm so sorry I got lotion in your eye!
Whistle: That's okay, you don't need to 'pologize.

A NEW Take on Shopping

2008-01-28T00:36:00.000-06:00

I know you'll find this hard to believe, but for years, our now 15 year old Teenager found it impossible to go clothes shopping. When I couldn't put it off any longer, I'd take her into a store, and she'd just stand there in the clothing section, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. I finally figured out that if I took things off of the rack and said things like, "You need a new shirt -- how about this one?" -- she would respond and I would try again with another one, saying "What do you like about it, and what don't you like?" She could do it for about 30 minutes, and she was finished. Really finished. Suffice it to say the dressing room part of it was Not Fun. I think she was just overwhelmed and maybe overstimulated. Whatever the reason, it was not a typical teenage girl experience!

Today, however, something was different. We've had a breakthrough! Teenager can shop for clothes!! Yesterday, from the 75% off clearance rack I picked up some [solid color/no outside label/suitable for Christian school] polo shirts and sweaters. Today, I took her back to the same JCP store to get her opinion on some casual shirts, and we had a blast! She was pleasant, engaged, and actively involved in choosing some things to try on. Willingly. Willingly! She put on various combinations, discussed when and where she'd wear them, and did a great job of choosing from the "maybe" group after she'd tried them all on. We went to another store for some undergarments, and even that was fun. Two more trips to the dressing room, and we were both still smiling. And . . . she's planning to pay for it all herself from her most recent paycheck! Whoo hoo!

To finish up our Girls Night Out, we ate at Applebees together, just the two of us. What a great evening!

Just ask the Kids. They Know!

2008-01-27T21:39:00.000-06:00

I don't know how Whistle gets anything from the television at all, because he seldom sits still in front of it. He does keep an eye and ear on it apparently (as he shoots baskets a few feet away), and he usually knows more about what's going on than I do. He has a solution for the children with no hair that he's seen on the hospital commercials. He said, "If they let them go home, then they can have hair, but they can't have hair at the hospital."

Watching tv the other night, Whistle asked if another show was going to be on. (I think it was what he calls "No Deal or No Deal.") I said "No," meaning there was not going to be another segment of the same show on. When he walked through the room a little later, he said, "SEE, Mom! I TOLD you there was going to be another one." It was a news program. Go figure.

Today before church services began, granddaughter E. noted that "Some people are missing." Her mother agreed, and asked, "WHO is missing?" Emma's response was, "Everybody else!!" Duh.

And now - a word from Father. He bought a compound miter saw the other day, and when I was surprised that he'd gotten it that morning, he said, "I needed to get $10.00 for the haircut." Yeah, right. That's what we'd all do. Go to the big L. store to get cash for the barber. Good idea. I'll have to keep that in mind. ;-)

I Can!

2008-01-25T18:33:00.000-06:00

I've thought of a half-dozen things I'd like to write about, but have been fighting a sinus headache for days, and can't get it together enough to think clearly enough to write.

So for now . . . I'll do the list of things that "I Can" - and count my blessings instead.

I can play the piano.

I can host 22 people in my home for several days.

I can get a lot of things done very quickly when I need to.

I can relax and play instead, too.

I can organize all the spices in my cupboard alphabetically.

I can make a holiday meal, and enjoy every minute of it.

I can collect enough gingerbread men to populate a city.

I can raise other people's children as my own.

I can laugh at my mistakes.

I can encourage others.

I can roller skate, and ride a bicycle.

I can fly in a hot air balloon.

I can ride roller coasters - twice each.

I can sew.

I can wrap presents.

I can sing alto.

I can shop for bargains.

I can teach a class.

I can advocate for my children.

I can paint (walls).

I can make piles of papers.

I can organize.

I can send thank you notes.

I can hug and kiss.

I can attend church.

I can miss my parents.

I can love and appreciate my siblings.

I can appreciate antiques, and old things.

I can return phone calls and email messages.

I can plant a garden, and can and freeze the vegetables.

I can coordinate a wedding.

I can play scrabble.

I can do logic problems, and number puzzles.

I can care enough to lie awake at night, looking for solutions.

I can listen.

I can drink diet soda.

I can read a map.

I can read books to preschoolers.

I can love, even when it hurts.

I can be diplomatic.

I can try again.

I can plan menus in the grocery store.

I can try new recipes.

I can make my grandma's pickle relish.

I can say the names of the books of the Bible.

I can pray.

I can do counted cross stitch.

I can cook and bake.

I can search the web.

I can make this list in 15 minutes without writing "but" after any of them, even though I was thinking it.

Updated to add: I didn't know the origin of this when I did it - just saw it on another foster mom's blog, and thought it looked interesting. I've now tracked back to find the idea behind it: http://aidelmaidel.blogspot.com/2008/01/i-can-exercise.html

Two Things

2008-01-11T20:38:00.000-06:00

Earlier this week was Delurking Day - when readers (both of you?) are supposed to come out of lurkdom long enough to let us know you're reading this blog. We missed it, since fighting sinus infection seemed more important this week than anything I *wanted* to be doing instead. So - you still have an opportunity to let me know you're there. If you're so shy you just can't comment, please send an email to kander04 at aol.com (you know how to type it), and say, "I'm here, and you should post more often so I don't waste my time," or whatever you'd like to say.

In other news, Whistle's been a hoot today. He's always saying something that makes me laugh. This afternoon, I was lying on the bed, and he brought the ear thermometer to check my temperature. He put it in (sort of), pushed the button and waited for the beep, then checked it and said, "No, you don't have diarrhea!"

At bedtime, he began praying a fervent prayer, but apparently got distracted, and began sing-songing his words. When he finished, he said, "Amen. The end. That's all. Good-niiii-ight." I know - you had to be there to get that one, but trust me -- he's a joy a minute.

And speaking of Whistle, school is going WELL!! We're happy, thankful, and relieved.

The Children Are Waiting

2008-01-06T23:08:00.000-06:00

Turn up your computer volume, and watch this. Then share it with your friends.

Are they waiting for you?

The song is "As Big As My Heart" by Jaime Fox.

Hat tip to Kari.

Company Girl!

2008-01-01T21:31:00.001-06:00

Rachel at Home Sanctuary tells a very sweet story about how the term Company Girl came about. You can read about it here. She goes on to share her thoughts about sanctuary, involving Peace, Order, and Beauty, and her plans to do small things to make a difference in their lives this year, inviting others to join her. You can read about it here. She writes it this way: We'll have three general categories for our 5 minute Small Things.

Peace: What are some ways that you bring peace in your relationships? How do you create a peaceful atmosphere? This category includes your spiritual life.
Order: What are simple things you do to create quick order in your daily life? It can be cleaning, organizing, scheduling, budgeting etc.
Beauty: How do you bring beauty into your home in ways that please the senses? What are things you do to make your home feel good?

I'm not a New Year's Resolution type person, but do take stock of my life this time of year, and this sounds like a good way to move in the direction of becoming the person God would have me to be. Won't you join us?

Christmas Tour - Nativites

2007-12-25T01:58:00.000-06:00

I didn't get in on the blog Christmas house tours - I haven't even looked at others' home tours yet, but still wanted to share some of our fun and family items with you.

First, a nativity made by Sarah's in-laws. Richard handled the saw, and Janet sanded, painted, and stained.

The focal point of a large set given to us by my sister Jeanne, aka mbs (for my best sister -- a family joke). This set also includes a barn, a hill, camels, horses and a cart, sheep and shepherd, fences, palm trees and a little drummer boy (I should look up where his story comes from). I wonder why Joseph has his back to us?

Christmas Tour - Childhood Memories

2007-12-25T01:57:00.000-06:00

A Christmas record - pictures on both sides.

In sixth grade, I attended a ceramics class with my mother for a few weeks, and made this carolers set. I remember being excited that I was "big enough" to go with her. I also remember that the teacher painted the eyes on the figures, and the candle in the street lamp for me.

The first pop-up book I ever saw. The story was about Floopy's ears, that hung down, instead of standing up. At the end of the book, the foam ears popped right up. Pages in between included a dog's leg on a little spring, a frog's mouth that opened and closed, and actual paints you could paint with on that page. One of my favorite childhood memories!

An ornament I made in 6th grade (that must have been a good year for me). It's made from a cardboard (not styrofoam) egg carton, gesso (a word I learned in art that year - it was a primer paint, I think), gold paint, gold braid, small red ornament (see the gesso that wasn't supposed to be on it?), and a bell.

A hand-made mitten ornament that I received at a party in 7th or 8th grade. It had a mini Hershey bar in it, and a hair clip on the back to hold it to the tree. I've recently gotten back in touch with my friend Sue, who hosted the party. She's a school counselor in Wyoming now.